Compartir la vida

Be tree, think forest

2012-01-11T13:00:00.000-08:00

I've recently received word from my co-workers at ALTERNATIVA that several of the ovens have been completed! (The project that I worked on in Nicaragua was bringing new, firing ovens to artisans that produce ceramic items in a town called San Juan de Oriente.)

I jumped into the project fairly late in the game and got to be a part of the selection process of the beneficiaries. I was also lead to believe that I would witness the construction of at least 5 of the 8 ovens.

Assuming that things never go according to plan, I gave ourselves 2 or 3 weeks of cushion time when I mapped out our work plan, scheduling when we'd be doing things like making the final decision on the beneficiaries, purchasing bricks, and constructing the ovens. Little did I know how many set-backs we'd come across. About midway through my internship, we were already 5 weeks behind schedule. Although my co-workers kept assuring me that I'd be there when they constructed at least one oven, I began to realize that this was an unrealistic expectation.

It's funny how hard it was for me to be okay with this. I kept telling myself that it didn't matter if I saw the finished product or not, this wasn't about me after all. But there's something ingrained deep in me that programs me to want to see measurable progress. It was surprisingly difficult to leave the internship without having "accomplished" something.

However, it's probably best that the time frame worked out the way it did. For one, I got to be there for the "getting behind schedule" part of the process. The part where we ran into every possible glitch that we could have, during which I'm convinced I learned much more than I would have if things had gone according to plan.

Secondly, it was good for me to realize and learn to be okay with the fact that the work that is being done there really has nothing to do with me. Although I got to jump on board with ALTERNATIVA for a brief time, the work goes on with or without me. The real credit goes to the people whose life work is doing what I did for several months: the people who tirelessly continue plodding through the challenges that is development work in a poor country. The credit also goes (figuratively and literally) to those hand-picked artisans who decided to take a leap of faith and accept this opportunity for economic betterment. I'm grateful to have been a part of the team for the time that I was. But I need to remember that I was just that: a team member, not the starring role. The fact that I didn't get to see the finished product with my own eyes reinforced this lesson. (It also gives me one more reason to go back and visit someday...)

One of my favorite books is Donald Miller's "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years." Here's a quote from the book that speaks to this idea:

He said to me I was a tree in a story about a forest, and that it was arrogant of me to believe any differently. And he told me the story of the forest is better than the story of the tree.

Here's a photo of one of the finished new ovens.

familia minnesotan

2012-01-10T08:10:00.000-08:00

Since I posted pics of my Central American families, I thought I'd post a picture of my real familia.

Also, here are 11 reasons why I haven't posted since 2011.

2:00 in the morning conversations about life, hikes through the snow-less woods, lefse making (and eating!), baby name scheming (pretty sure Skyler and Anne have decided to not let their siblings help pick names), sharing pictures and stories, Christmas traditions, board games (game of choice this year: the LOGO game), Costa Rican coffee, sliding on frozen lakes, laughing at TUNDRA comics and SNL skits, eating rusks for a late breakfast

Finding words

2011-12-20T15:30:00.000-08:00

I've been state side for a little over a week now. Since I got off the plane last week, I've been attempting to put into words my thoughts and feelings about my experiences in Central America. It's never easy for me to fully articulate an experience like this. Words don't seem to be sufficient to communicate all that I experienced.

I compare it to speaking another language imperfectly. There are always things that I cannot fully communicate in Spanish. During my semester abroad one of my friends and I used to talk about the frustration of having tons to say, but not knowing how to say it. For example, at LASP we learned about a lot of injustices that were very difficult to deal with.

We would want to say something like "I'm upset about the discrepancies of wealth and the unfairness of life for people who are stuck in poverty." But all we'd say was "I'm sad (Estoy triste)."

The phrase "I'm sad" didn't even begin to describe how we were feeling, but it was something we could say without too much effort.

Even though I'm now speaking English, I feel like when I try to find words for the last four months of life it's similarly inadequate.

It's frustrating and tiring to imperfectly articulate things, but I'm grateful for my friends and family and the opportunities I've had in the last 8 days to at least try and put things into words.

la playa, Manuel Antonio

2011-12-20T11:49:00.000-08:00

Oftentimes pictures don't do justice to capture the beauty of a place and they can't really communicate what an experience was actually like, but they're still fun.

Here are some photos from Manuel Antonio beach in Costa Rica

Monkeys!

The guy that sold us coconut juice on the beach also sliced the coconuts open for us to eat the "meat" out of the inside. Cutting a coconut open looks much easier with a machete.

As we left Manuel Antonio park we got stranded. Little did we know that the beach we walked barefoot across at lunchtime would be covered with several feet of water during high tide. Luckily for some boat owners, this is a great way to make a quick buck as many tourists don't want to wade across the unknown waters. Luckily for us, this gentleman gave us a price break because we took so long to decide if we wanted to wade or go in boat.

The sunset was so stunning that none of us noticed the gynormous wave that overtook us as we were sitting on the beach. It turns out that digital cameras don't do too well after having been submerged in salt water. I have bad luck with cameras. I can't claim most of my trip pictures as my own, but thankfully I have friends that take good pictures (and apparently take better care of their cameras).

Home sweet home

2011-12-13T14:04:00.000-08:00

Whenever I'm walking to my gate at the airport, I think it's fun to try and guess where people are flying to -- based on what they're wearing or what they look like.

I'm usually completely incapable of distinguishing between nationalities. Costa Ricans (or "Ticos") can be very fair skinned and sometimes even have blue eyes. (I keep thinking that I could pass as a Tica but my Grecia family assures me that there is no way I will ever blend in there). Sometimes I have a hard time knowing whether people are Ticos or Americans or Europeans. Especially in places like airports, stores or hostels, I can't decide which language to speak because I'm not sure which country people are from.

However, when I'm playing the "guess the destination" game at an airport I can usually pick out a crowd of mid-westerners. For some reason there is just a different, familiar look to them. Once I got to my last gate yesterday the people that were waiting to board the plane all looked vaguely familiar.

Although there was a fair amount of grumbling about Minnesota cold from my fellow passengers I was excited when I started to see the patchwork of fields from the plane window....indicating that I was almost home. I love the Midwest. It's somewhat disappointing that there is no snow on the ground, but I'm sure that's coming.

It's a relief to be home and sleep in my own bed and know that I can leave my stuff somewhere for more than a few days. In the last 3 and a half weeks I've slept in 14 different beds.

I'll most likely continue to process via blogging for a while. Since I'm such a delayed processor I don't really see this as the end, but rather another turning point in the trip. Hopefully I'll get some pictures up soon as well.

Feeling at home

2011-12-11T12:31:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago my parents asked me specifically what they could do to help my transition back to the states go smoothly. Here are a few things that I thought of that would help me feel "at home" (a few apply only to Nicaragua, even though I haven't been in NI for a few weeks):

- Tell me that they are going to pick me up at the airport when I arrive...saying something like "Si, como no?" translated roughly to "of course, how could I not?" But when I call to confirm the night before, inform me that something came up last minute and they´ll no longer be able to pick me up.

- Arrange for groups of somewhat sketchy looking guys to be sitting around the airport, yelling "piropos" as I walk past. (Or anyone to stare at my white skin and blue eyes and address me as either "Gringa," "Chela," or "Macha")

- On the way home from the airport, take a side-trip without letting me know where exactly we're going.

- Arrange to be driving during the worst of rush hour (although rush hour in Mpls doesn't begin to hold a candle to the city driving here in Central America.) Also, make sure to use the car horn as much as possible and have other drivers do the same.

- Speak some random European language to each other. Apologize for not speaking English or Spanish but continue speaking the other language.

- Serve me Gallo Pinto at least twice a day.

- Say "Pura Vida" at the end of every other phrase.

- Then there's the bit about the weather....

compartida la vida es mas

2011-12-11T11:28:00.000-08:00

I'm thinking about changing my blog title. This slogan is the catch phrase for Central America's cell phone company Movistar. Literally the phrase means: Shared, life is more.

I've been reminded more and more how this idea is so true. In the last few months and particularly weeks I've seen how beautiful it is to share life with people. Even when your pathes only cross for a few days or a few hours, there is still value in sharing life with others.

After several months of hellos and goodbyes, wondering if I´ll ever see some of these people again, I occassionally got exhausted from sharing life with people for such a short time. Luckily, to finish of my time in Central America I had three great friends join me in my travels and help me regain energy and perspective.

In the last three weeks, Heidi, Tracy, Bri and I have crossed pathes with many wonderful people. As our travels come to a close, we´ve reflected on all the people that we've met and the ways that our lives have been touched by them.

Here are a few people in particular that we've met in the last few weeks. (Sidenote: we invented names for some of these people)

- The two United Airlines pilots that did a canopy tour with us. They compared notes with us as to how similar the Superman run was to actually flying a plane.

- Gerardo and Yadira - our wonderful hosts at a farm in Northern Costa Rica. They welcomed us into their lives, entertained us with stories, and overwhelmed us with hospitality.

- Rolo - the guy selling coconut juice on the beach in Manuel Antonio. He offered us coconuts three different times before he remembered us and realized that we´d already bought some from him. (For the record, one coconut is sufficient, at least for a few days....I recommend it, it's definitely an experience, but you don't need three in one day. Right, Tracy?)

- Jackeline - the little girl from the Isla de Ometepe that served Heidi and I the best breakfast of the trip....Gallo Pinto, eggs, bread, cheese, coffee....alongside the most stunning landscape of volcanoes and lakes.

- Marcos - the guy at a hostel that went above and beyond his duties to help us find transportation, activities and housing for our next stop.

- Alexia - the daughter of our tour guide in a butterfly garden. She kept bringing butterfly after butterfly to us to hold and admire.

- Rafael - the guy selling ceramics to tourists on the beach. He travels from Masaya (where I lived and worked in NI) to Costa Rica every month selling items that his family makes

- Marieth - my little sister from Grecia that patiently sat on the floor with Tracy and Bri teaching them Spanish words.

These are all people that we shared life with for a very brief time (with the exception of Marieth). There are many others that I think of more as family and that hold very special places in my heart. Yesterday I was talking with my old host family from Grecia. I mentioned something about ¨my family¨ and they said: ¨Which one?¨=) I´m grateful for my families scattered all over the world and the way that I´ve gotten to share life with them.

Drops in a bucket

2011-11-28T06:19:00.000-08:00

One of the interesting parts of this trip is that I've gotten to stay at a number of hostels. Hostels usually bring in a very interesting crowd and provide a good opportunity to interact with people from all over the world. This morning I had breakfast with a couple of organic farmers from the US, a British singer/songwriter, a French guy and a Columbian guy with 2-foot-long dreadlocks.

The room that I stayed in had clouds painted on the walls and people had written notes all over. Most of them were graffitti-like and not worth repeating, but one in particular caught my eye. It said -

"Nobody makes a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little." - Edmund Burke

It's so easy to be so overwhelmed by the magnitude of a problem, that you fall into complacency and don't attempt to do anything about it. It's not like apathy is something that people strive for, rather I think that it is a response to not having the control to fix something.

Nicaragua is a prime place for being overwhelmed by the complex, intertwined, and huge problems.

A few weeks into my internship, after the novelty had worn off and I was getting into a routine, I began to feel despair about the whole situation. The difference between the people that were working with ALTERNATIVA (an organization that is very efficient and successful) and the people that were completley on their own was sometimes nothing more than a few extra dollars of income per day. That is, the work of ALTERNATIVA, as good as it is, is only a drop in the bucket. The strides that were made were so difficult to see that I sometimes got discouraged. It's easy to think: What's the point? These people are still living in tacked together shacks, eating rice and beans 3 times a day, and gathering rain water to wash clothes. Is the work we're doing really making a difference?

Then again, I have to remember that I'm coming from a culture that values measurable progress. I'm programed to want to see noticeable change.....something that is unrealistic for an 11 week internship in Latin America.

I also need to remember and be reminded that even though I can't fix everything, that doesn't mean that I should do nothing. Even though it may be just drops in a bucket, they're still valuable drops. And even though I can't measure them, they're there.

A few years ago I read the book Mountains beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder. The book chronicles the life of Paul Farmer, a medical doctor in Haiti. I don't remember the quote exactly but the book gets it's name from a proverb that says something like "Beyond mountains, there are more mountains" meaning, even if you treat and heal hundreds of people with life threatening illnesses, there will still be hundreds more sick people. Farmer's life exhibits tireless dedication and devotion to the people of Haiti, even though he will never be able to deal with all the health issues there. He's a very amazing guy. I also saw this kind of dedication in my co-workers and bosses at ALTERNATIVA. If I was discouraged after a few months working in that environment, I can't imagine what they feel dedicating their life's work to this.

It's humbling and inspiring to see these example of tirelessly putting drops in the bucket.

hace 3 años

2011-11-27T09:39:00.001-08:00

Three years ago I was in this same part of the world. Only in a different context. It´s been a great experience to be able to go back and revisit the same places and people. Sometimes I think it's amazing how much has changed. 3 years is a long time. Host brothers and sisters have grown up. New buildings have been constructed. I´ve forgotten a lot.

However, it´s also true that some things never change. In a way it´s like opening a door into the past, into 3 years ago. I´ve been able to go back to the way things were (in a way). After catching up, my host families and I are able to pick up where we left off. I receive the same welcome that I did before. I remember favorite cafes and shops. I remember slang words that are specific to the region. Eventually the money conversion rate comes back to me.

Right now I'm in San Jose and I've been trying to get my bearings again. This is the city that I spent the most time in during my semester abroad but that doesn't mean that navegating the city is easy for me. I've been racking my brain to try and remember bus stops and examining maps to try and find familiar places. Thankfully people are helpful.

It's fascinating to me how your perspective on a certain place is affected by the context that you find yourself in. Likewise, the length of time in one location affects the way you view things. For example, three years ago I was in Nicaragua for 2 weeks. This was like a sprint. My perception of Nicaragua was formed accordingly. Now, my time in Nicaragua was almost 12 weeks. Not quite the marathon of doing the Peace Corps or living there for life, my internship would be more like a 5K. My view on Nicaragua this time around is vastly different than the first time.

Also, now I find myself in the role of tourist. This affects the way I see things as well. I´m tempted to say I prefer the role of intern, but I'm adjusting. It's been fun to see things through different lenses. Quite a varied experience that I´m having, for which I'm very grateful.

Beaches and clouds

2011-11-26T19:16:00.000-08:00

Our first destination across the border was to a beach in Guanacaste. It was beautiful. Although the town itself was very touristy and expensive, we enjoyed the Vitamin D and warmth, falling asleep to the sound of the ocean, and ¨pura vida¨atmosphere of Costa Rica. (Pura vida is another one of those catch all frases. Basically it means It´s all goood. It´s a common response when someone asks How are you. They also say it as you are leaving a store. It´s everywhere.)

From the warmth of the Pacific Coast we traveled to Monteverde - a cloud forest. It was beautiful, but as you would guess, very cloudy. It also rained for most of the time we were there which made it very chilly. Enough to make even a hearty Minnesotan muy frio. One of the highlights was a guided tour through a trail with hanging bridges. It was great to be surrounded by so much greenery. According to one guide, if you breath the air there for a few hours, it adds 10 years to your life. We should be good to go. In addition to beautiful plants and trees, we saw monkeys, lizards, butterflies, spiders and a sloth.

We decided to do a zip-line/canopy tour because it´d be beautiful to see that kind of cloud forest while dangling from a cable. Unfortunately we were inside the cloud for a majority of the time. This made for a very eerie sensation....flying through the air not able to see much more than a few feet infront of you. There was also some kind of storm that had moved in from the Caribean side. Our guide assured us that if the wind was at least 20 mphs less than the cut off point when they stop taking groups out ziplining. This made for a very brisk wait for your turn on the cable.

In spite of everything we were able to see the trees below every once in a while which was great. Also, it was a pretty unique experience to do a canopy tour in a cloud. For future reference though, they say that Jan - April is a better time to visit the cloud forest.

To give you an idea of what the scenery was like, here´s a picture of me at the continental divide. We were able to go for a beautiful hike our last morning in Monteverde. Inside the forest it was much more sheltered and scenic.

Nica to Tica

2011-11-23T17:40:00.001-08:00

Greetings from Monteverde Costa Rica. I've been away from internet for a while and a lot has changed since the last time I wrote. On Monday we tackled the daunting task of crossing the frontera . Nicaragua and Costa Rica are two completely different worlds. Both Heidi and I feel like we're experiencing culture shock. Here are a couple of differences we've noticed:

- Cordobas to Colones ... a good brain work out: new conversion rates and prices. Unfortunately things are a bit pricey here. When we were in Nicaragua we usually had to ask to clarify the price because we couldn't believe the prices were so low. Now we're shocked because they're so high. :-(

- Intern to tourist - my role now is quite different. I'm no longer living and working in a foreign country. I'm now traveling around as a white American tourist. I think I prefer the role of intern, but it can be fun to play the tourist role as well.

- "Ma and Pa shop" to "well-established restaurant." A few times in Nicaragua we went to eat at Comedor's that were literally in a family's yard/house. Now things are more ritsy and upscale. I would say that Nicaragua is to Costa Rica what Masaya is to Granada. The experience in Masaya feels very authentic and "small town". Granada is full of tourists and expensive restaurants. Life in Nicaragua is completely different....even on the Isla de Ometepe: a beautiful tourist destination, things are pretty rustic. That's part of the charm. Costa Rica is beautiful as well, I think I'm just partial to NI because I miss it right now.

- Gallo Pinto to Gallo Pinto - Each country claims that they were the first to come up with it and that theirs is the best. We have yet to eat it here in Costa Rica so we'll see how they compare.

- Spanish to English/or "Costa Rican Spanish" - Every once in a while you'll run into English-speakers in Nicaragua but not nearly as common as here in Costa Rica. And the Spanish here is SO different. It's almost funny to me to hear the Costa Rican Spanish.

- Cold to warm - They have warm water for showers in our hostel! We're very appreciative for this because it's quite chilly here in the cloud forest of MonteVerde.

Isla de Ometepe

2011-11-20T16:49:00.001-08:00

We went on a tour today to Volcan Maderas to see a waterfall. The road that we traveled is described in the Lonely Planet as trecherous. I would agree. It was over an hour of bumping and jolting along. Here's a typical view from our drive.

The trecherous road and the hike were well worth it. Here's the waterfall that we ended up seeing. I even got to wade in and stand under the waterfalls. Not every day you can do that!

Later we went to a place called Ojo del Agua - a pool fed by a natural spring. Beautiful crystal clear water.

officially initiated

2011-11-19T19:36:00.000-08:00

We´re on the Island of Ometepe. It's beautiful here with a remarkable view of volcanoes, water and stars.

My friend Heidi has officially been initiated and welcomed into Nicaragua. A few things we experienced today that gave her the office ´you´re in a different country´welcome....

-During our two hour bus ride to Rivas, the lady standing next to Heidi on the bus was holding two dead chickens by their feet. Completely normal here.

-As we were being driven to our hostel, we had to stop multiple times because there were cows, horses and pigs hanging out in the middle of the road. As we almost hit a pig our guide said ´Supper!´

-Tonight at supper we both ordered fish (of course, we're on an island, what else are we going to order) We were both surprised when the waitor brought our food plates out -- each contained the entire fish....scales, fins, eyeballs, teeth and all. It was actually quite tasty. Heidi kept exclaiming Íve never eaten a whole fish before!

from Masaya to Mombacho

2011-11-18T19:53:00.000-08:00

Day 1 of our travels has taken us to Granada. Personally I'm partial to Masaya, but Granada is a nice city as well. It's very colonial, pretty, and touristy. Tonight at supper we entertained ourselves by trying to guess the ethnicity of the people walking past us. Lots of foreigners.

Here's the cathedral in the central park of Granada.

This afternoon we went on an "Isletas" tour. Beautiful islands in the lake of Nicaragua. In the background is the Volcan Mombacho.

I don't think I'd ever get sick of the palm trees and volcanoes.

Adios Masaya

2011-11-18T19:47:00.001-08:00

Sadly my time in Masaya has come to an end. Here's a picture of one of my favorite places in Masaya....it's the Malecon, overlooking the Laguna de Masaya. In the background in the Volcan Masaya. Beautiful. I will miss the city and it's people. Masaya will always have a very special place in my heart.

As this portion of my trip has ended, another chapter has begun. My friend Heidi joined me in Nicaragua yesterday and the two of us are going to travel through Nicaragua and Costa Rica for the next 10 days (I'll be traveling for about 3 weeks in total). I'm excited for all the adventures these next few weeks will hold!

two thousand five hundred twenty two bricks...

2011-11-16T18:18:00.000-08:00

...on the camion

Take one down...

throw it to your co-workers...

two thousand five hundred twenty one bricks to go

catch

one thousand bricks later:

We're one step closer to building ovens for 5 artisan families.

When I made my work plan at the beginning of my internship I thought about what would be a reasonble time-frame to get things done. Then I added another couple of weeks to the deadlines, just to be on the safe side. According to my calculations, we should have finished all 8 ovens several weeks ago. But things to not go according to me here (surprise....I don't know why it's so hard for me to let go of this idea that everything should go the way I want it to).

Even though I won't see the finished ovens, I'm very happy to have had the chance to participate in this project the way that I have. I've learned way more than I would have if things had gone smoothly and according to plan. Plus, this is just one more reason to come back someday: several of the artisans have told me to come back and visit someday so that I can see the finished ovens. :-)

I'm happy for the way in which my internship has come to an end. Even though it's not easy to leave, I feel like I've finished strong and ended on a good note.

mi familia nica

2011-11-13T18:46:00.000-08:00

Here are some very special people.....they're my family that I acquired 3 years ago when I came here as a student. They came to Masaya today to visit one last time before I leave. My hermano Roger is right next to me. His fiance Indira is on the right side of the foto and everyone else is the family of Indira. It was wonderful to get to spend time with them again.

snapshots

2011-11-12T05:55:00.000-08:00

The problem with moving to a different country, getting attached to the people, and investing in life here is that eventually you have to leave. And leaving is never easy.

Unfortunately, I've had to begin the goodbye process -- slowly starting to say goodbye to people that I've shared life with in these past few months. My last day at work is this Wednesday and I'll be leaving Masaya on Friday.

I'm determined to finish strong and make the most of my last few days here.

The last week or so has been very full (of good things). Because of this I haven't written for a while. I'll try to catch up.

Here's a sample of favorite moments (snapshots) in the last few weeks that will soon be nothing more than cherished memories:

*People-watching in the central parks of Granada and Masaya - both are very lively and entertaining.

*Enjoying a "Dulce de Leche" ice-cream bar with friends.

*Aerobics dance class. My only regret is that I didn't discover this class sooner. Possibly one of my favorite "social outings" in the past few weeks. I leave every class sore from so much exercise and so much laughing.

*My nine-year-old personal Spanish teacher helping me with homework and instructing me on the different kinds of nouns and articles.

*Visiting "Los Pueblos" one last time with the loan officer.

*A friend's birthday party complete with pinata and all.

*Chai Tea Latte at the Garden Cafe -- my favorite restaurante in Granada.

*Experiencing a Nica movie theater -- the film stopped 3 times in the middle of the show. The last time it stopped, there was about a 5 minute gap of time before it started again, during which one-third of the crowd left.

*Sitting around the table after supper talking about politics and culture.

*Watching the moon over Lago de Nicaragua, listening to a live band at a lake-side restaurant/bar in Granada for my "goodbye party" with my co-workers

*Dancing so much Cumbia that I could hardly walk the next day.

let me paint you a picture

2011-11-04T18:06:00.000-07:00

It's November. This month I'll be leaving Nicaragua. Once again I'm struck by how so many things have become "normal" to me here -- things that are far from the normal that I used to know and will return to very shortly.

I thought I would try to describe what I experience on a "normal" walk to work.

I leave a little after 8:00 each morning. The streets are very lively at this hour. As I leave my house, I see maids sweeping front steps and men cutting the grass with long knives. Right next door is a car repair shop which means there are almost always gawking men when I walk past: a good opportunity to practice acting nonchalant and composed.

A little ways down is a house where little kids are always playing oustide. Often they'll run up to the fence and say "Adios!" to me (In this case "adios" means both hello and goodbye....it's like a catch-all greeting.) When I respond they giggle shyly.

The sidewalks here leave a little bit to be desired. I'm starting to learn where the major cracks and holes are so that when I'm walking in the dark I don't have problems.

I pass a pulperia (corner store)that I frequent on occassion to purchase water, coca-cola, and to recharge my phone minutes.

Then I get to the main street. This street is jam packed with every mode of transportation that you can imagine. It's a one-way street but apparently these rules don't apply to bicycles, motorcycles, and horse-drawn buggies so it's still necessary to look both ways (carefully!) before crossing the street.

Many people here ride "Nica style" which is 3+ people on one bike or motorcycle. At a very young age (basically infants) people must learn incredible balance.

Taxis honk to signal their availability. Other vehicles honk to indicate that they're coming through. Busses pass with the guy hanging out the door yelling their destination. People whistle for various reasons: to get someone's attention, to say hello, a "piropo" or compliment for a girl.

People pushing (or pulling) carts carry loads of firewood or fruit to sell. There are also men pushing ice-cream carts, ringing bells to let everyone know they're selling ice-cream.

Something that I find fascinating are these bike/cart hybrids that consist of the back half of a bike. The front half has two wheels instead of one and a cart in the front for hauling various items.

I cross a bridge over a big gutter of sorts where run-off from area houses flows past. When it rains these "cauces" become more like raging streams. There are signs everywhere that say "Don't throw garbage" but there is trash everywhere, especially in the "stream."

On the other side of the bridge, there is a lady selling baked items. She is constantly fanning her basket of goods to keep the flies away.

I pass two schools - one for little kids (preschool and kindergarden age) and the other for middle school aged kids. Both are somewhat difficult to walk past when the students are just getting let out for lunch or at the end of the day - people everywhere. There used to be a group of 14-year-old boys that would give me a hard time when I walked past but I think they've grown tired of not getting a response from me so I now pass without any problems.

Past the school there is a beautiful view with palm trees and the Volcano in the background. Once again, this is something that will not be normal when I'm back in Minnesota.

Then there are a few "Variedades" stores selling clothes usually modeled on several manikins outside the shop. Across the street is a huge lumber store.

Many of the houses at this point also sell food or beverages. People stop in to buy drinks served in plastic bags with straws.

There are also many venders in the streets selling things like fruit, water, and baked goods. They either have carts or baskets that they carry on their shoulder or head. They yell what they're selling as they pass.

Often there are people sitting outside of their houses on plastic chairs, taking in the activity of the day. Since the side-walks are narrow this often means that you have to walk in the street to avoid walking right through a group of people.

Another obstacle is the dogs. There are dogs EVERYWHERE. Most of them don't scare me and will get out of my way. But every once in a while I'll cross the street to avoid a dog that looks particularly "bravo" (fierce). It's also necessary to look out for sleeping dogs on the sidewalks. The other day I almost stepped on one. I'm sure he also would have been bravo if that had happened.

I arrive at ALTERNATIVA and wait for the guard to let me in. If our main guard is gone and there's a substitute guard, he is usually very skeptical of me and I have to try and convince him that I work there and that he should let me in. Who knew that I could be such a suspicious looking person.

All in a normal day.

Do you speak my language?

2011-11-01T20:08:00.000-07:00

One of my goals for my time here was that I would improve my Spanish. I'm sure that has happened although it's been hard to gage. Before I came here I felt like I was pretty competant in Spanish; however, my perspective has changed and I now I feel like I just know enough to know how much I don't know. I've become even more aware of how incredibly long it takes to become completely fluent in a second language. Instead of saying that I'm "fluent" I usually say "conversational." I can fairly easily converse about most common topics of conversations. But when it comes to words referring to credit or ceramic firing ovens, then there's a whole lot of room for expanding my vocabulary. If you ever need a reality check for how bad your Spanish really is, I suggest you go into a Ferreteria (hard-ware store) and try to communicate about what specific metal pieces you need for a new oven.

On the flip side, there are words that I'm now more familiar with in Spanish than in English. For example: People who are behind on loan payments: they're "atrasados." The person who signs their friend's loan and promises to pay the amount if the friend can't pay it is a : "fiador." I'm sure there are English words that are just as easy, but I can't think of them right now, and I don't really have a need to.

Spanglish is the acceptable language around my house as sometimes my Dutch roommates run into words that they don't know in English so they say them in Spanish.

I blame the fact that I tend to invent words on this frequent use of Spanglish. As many words in Spanish and English are cognates, sometimes you can just change the English word slightly and it actually works in Spanish as well. I've transfered this to English as well. This makes for interesting conversations in any language. I just wait for blank looks and ask if the words I'm using are actually words.

I also blame my horrible ("creative") spelling on the fact that I speak two languages. :-) It's an excuse....

Sometimes I get so frustrated with communication. Granted, there are good Spanish days and bad Spanish days. But there are definitely days where I wonder if we're speaking the same language. When people can't understand me, I like to blame it on the fact that I'm white and have blue eyes so when people look at me they don't expect me to speak Spanish and are therefore not listening well enough to understand me. (That's what I tell myself anyways...)

Then there are good days. Days when people say "Wow, you speak really well." (The ironic thing is that more than one time people have told me this, I didn't understand them so I had to ask them to repeat it.)

It usually takes a while to become familiar with someone's way of speech. But once that happens, it's much easier for me to communicate with them. Sometimes I feel so comfortable with people that I forget I can't speak English with them. On more than one occassion, I've accidentally started talking in English with my co-workers.

Another interesting twist in my foreign language exposure is the Dutch. I hear it every day and my roommates are convinced that I need to learn some Dutch. It makes for a very interesting mix of languages at our house. The other night we had a 3-way translation system going on. One roommate (M.) wanted to communicate something to our host-lady. "M" was most comfortable speaking in Dutch and so she said what she needed to in Dutch. Another rooommate (A) translated it into English, for me. And lastly I translated that into Spanish for our host-lady to understand. Whew. What a team we make.

Working hard

2011-10-31T19:21:00.000-07:00

My office that I share with my boss Alina and sometimes Henry who is a lawyer. Here's where I spend my day when I'm not out visiting clients. I usually work on documenting the oven project, updating budgets, or calculating a payment plan.

Reading the "reglamento" (agreement) to a few oven beneficiaries.

Accompanying the oven builder to visit all of the 5 beneficiaries. I got to direct the group to each of the artesan's homes. His 6-year-old daughter and I are becoming buddies.

Discussing the location for the new oven with one of the beneficiaries.

On more than one occassion my boss and I have come dressed almost identically. This past week it happened twice. The second day that it happened my boss commanded me to go home and change (to which I told her that SHE needed to go home and change because I had gotten there first :-P) This particular day another co-worker happened to be weating the same color shirt as well.
Alina (my boss) is on the left and Claudia is on the right.

Wanting Distance

2011-10-29T17:30:00.000-07:00

On this trip I've been encouraged to re-visit a "Nicaragua life lesson" that I learned last time I was here.

When I was here as a student I was struck by how great the disparity is between the "haves" and the "have-nots." And I was also struck by how there often wasn't a huge amount of distance between the two groups; lots of stark contrasts: a mansion next to a shack, a gynormous garbage dump (where people live and work) 5 minutes away from a gynormous, ritsy, shopping mall, buildings that were destroyed in the earthquake and still lie in ruins close to beautiful hotels.

Three years ago I stayed with a wonderful community in Santo Domingo (a part of Managua). During my week with them I saw more of the gaps. One day I was on a walk with my host-mom. At one point we were walking past mansions that literally had guards and barbed wire fences. Right next to the mansions were huts with dirt floors that consisted of tacked together tins. I wondered (out loud) how those people in the mansions must feel knowing about the abject poverty literally right next door. As soon as the words had left my mouth, I wished that I hadn't said them. And I realized how I was pointing the finger at myself as well -- not having come from a mansion in the U.S. but living a life of relative wealth in comparison to many of these people I was sharing life with.

The main difference between myself and these "mansion dwellers" was that my comfortable, wealthy, safe life was separated from the poverty and despair of Nicaragua by several thousand miles. I had enough distance to make a disconnect and not think of myself in the same critical way that I saw these wealthy Nicaraguans.

This realization was very uncomfortable. Many of my experiences in Nicaragua were very uncomfortable -- and I continue to run into discomfort on this trip as well. Many realizations of how people live and other injustices make me feel uncomfortable for the comfortable life that I get to return to.

Even now I feel the discomfort. At work I go out and visit clients of ALTERNATIVA. Many of them have pieced together homes, some including only dirt floors. "Doors" often consists of sheets hanging in the doorways. Hanging sheets also serve as partitions, separating a one-room house into several rooms. Many clients don't have running water; instead rain water is collected in barrels. I see many children who are forced to grow up way too quickly: young kids that are doing grown-up jobs such as caring for younger siblings. When our house visits fall over the lunch hour I've seen several family members eating out of the same large tupperware dish that serves as a bowl. There are often dogs, chickens and sometimes pigs (in the countryside) that roam around freely. The smell of smoke from either an oven or an open fire often fills the air.

After work I return home to a relatively very wealthy family. I have my own spacious room with my own bathroom (with running water!). As if this striking contrast between the houses wasn't enough, my discomfort is furthered by the fact that we have two house-maids.
One of the maids washes my clothes by hand and another maid serves me food everyday. I fear that I'm contributing to the discrepancy of wealth by literally being served by these women. I worry if they're being paid fairly and wonder if their homes look like the homes of ALTERNATIVA's clients. I can't help but feel bad that I play the role that I do in this broken system.

Sometimes I want distance.

They call me:

2011-10-24T19:24:00.000-07:00

It's nothing new to me when people have a hard time spelling, saying or remembering my name. The same holds true here, but possibly a little worse. Here more than ever I have to focus very carefully to see if my name is being said.

Usually when I'm in a Spanish-speaking context, I go by "Micaela" (pronounced Mee Kah AY lah). I like that name and it is somewhat familiar to people in Latin America. (Unfortunately there is no Latin American conterpart for my last name....that just completely stumps people here)
Inspite of the fact that I suggest that people call me Micaela, some people insist on trying to say my name the way it's said in the states. Some Nicas get really close, but it often comes out more like "MeeKayEElah." I've heard everything from Meekaheela to Maleika. Occassionally people go ahead and give me a nick name and call me something like Mika (Meekah) or Mik (Meek).

All of this to say that I have to listen carefully when people might be addressing me.

Another difficulty that I've run into is when people say things that rhyme with my name. For example, the word for "gringa" here is "chela" which just happens to rhyme with Kayla. One time I was walking down the street and I thought I heard someone say my name. I turned around and saw that it was a Taxi driver. Convinced that I had heard my name (pronounced correctly no less!) I looked at him inquisitively thinking that he must be someone that I knew even though he didn't look familiar. He asked if I needed a Taxi and I rejected and kept walking. It didn't dawn on me until later that he had said "Chela" instead of Mikaila.

Last but not least is the fact that I have to get used to responding to other names that people call me: muchacha (girl), amor (sweetheart), senora (lady), gringa. So many names.

A day in the life of....

2011-10-21T19:05:00.000-07:00

It's funny how quickly things become "normal." Sometimes I forget that my life here is nothing like the "normal" that I used to know in the states.

Here's a run down of a typical day here:

6:30ish - Rise and shine. If my two alarm clocks don't wake me up either the honking horns from a nearby street or the commotion of the house will.

7:30 - Breakfast. Usually something like Gallo Pinto mixed with leftovers from last night or an egg with toasted bread, juice and coffee.

8:10 - Walk to work. I should be leaving for work 20 minutes earlier but things are pretty chillax, so I show up to work "late" everyday because I usually end up chatting with someone from my house.

8:20 Arrive to work. The guard lets me in and I make my way to the back to my office that I share with my boss Alina. We chat and I do some "busy work" on the computer.

8:40 Don Leonardo comes in and tells me that there is "Comite" now (ya) and that I should come. I go to the meeting and observe as the two loan officers, Don Leonardo and the credit manager discuss client's loans and specific cases of clients who have gotten behind on payment or who are requesting new loans.

9:30 Jimmy (the loan officer) comes and tells me that we'll be leaving in 20 minutes. I double (or triple) the time that he tells me and then get ready to leave.

9:45 Alina asks me what's missing from the office (music!) and "scolds" me for not reminding her to turn her music on (which is in my job description now). There is music everywhere here. Many times you can hear music from 2 or 3 different places at one time. I will miss it.

10:20 Jimmy and I go out to "Los Pueblos" (the neighboring small towns) and visit clients of Alternativa. Some are behind on loan payment and the visit is to see what is going on. Other visits are with new or existing clients that are requesting loans. Jimmy goes through a very thorough interview process including finding out about how much they earn off of each sale, what daily expenses they have, how much debt they already have, and what their reputation is in the neighborhood (he goes out and asks neighbors what they think about each client). We visit with potential beneficiaries of the oven project, answering questions about how much they have to contribute and how much ALTNERATIVA is going to contribute.

1:00 Jimmy asks me how late is too late to return to Masaya for lunch. Even if I'm starving I try to tell him that I'm fine. It's kind of hike out to the pueblos and once we're there, we might as well finish what we need to.

1:45 We return to Masaya and I go back to my house for lunch. Lunch almost always consists of rice and a plantain in some way shape or form. We also eat a lot of other "typical Nica food."

2:30 I return to work, doing some tasks related to the oven project. Right now I'm serving as a middleman -- I go out in the field and meet with potential beneficiaries and then return to my office and report back to Alina and Don Leonardo what the artesans said.

5:15 I leave work, and head to the Pali (the supermarket here) to buy some snacks and purified water.

6:00 Return home. Do some yoga, debrief from my day.

7:00 Supper. Last night we had pasta mixed with chicken, rice and plantains. Yummy ...one of my favorite meals that they make for us. I sit with my Dutch roommates at the dining room table that is a part of our shared living space. If all of my roommates are there, they speak Dutch for most of the meal....every once in a while someone translates what is being said. I'm hoping to become tri-lingual while I'm here.

7:45 Hang out with anyone else that's around for the evening (Right now there are 15 people that might be around the house at any given day.) Catch up on e-mails and blogging (this can be quite time-consuming given that there are probably at least 4 other computers using the internet here).

9:00 Call it a day.

9:30 The neighborhood dogs bark incessantly.

10:30PM Some roosters start crowing.

3:30AM Wake up to the sound of cats walking on my tin roof......every single night.

6:30AM Repeat :-)

"free" gifts

2011-10-16T20:10:00.000-07:00

I've been receiving quite the education during my internship at ALTERNATIVA. All of it has been fascinating and I've been soaking it in. I usually leave work thinking to myself "I love my job" and after a weekend I'm anxious to return to work. However, there are many frustrations that I encounter daily. Some of them are minor cultural differences that annoy me. I have all kinds of North American ideas about how things should be done and when these ideas are not carried out I grow impatient and frustrated. Some other frustrations that I feel are bigger and are shared by my co-workers.

I will try to articulate one of my biggest frustrations that I've encountered. It's something that I've been thinking about for a long time, but now having seen it play out in a real life situation it makes me even more frustrated.

To summarize again the project that I'm working on: ALTERNATIVA has received money to help ceramic artesans build new ovens for firing their ceramics. The cost of the oven is $650. 75% of the cost is being donated (through a grant that we received, I believe). The beneficiary needs to contribute the other 25% as well as some raw materials for the construction of the ovens. ALTERNATIVA is offering that the 25% be paid off in the form of a very low-interest loan over the course of a year. Essentially the artesans are getting a great deal, but are still contributing an amount that for them is somewhat significant. Therefore they will have ownership of the ovens, be invested in the project, and be more empowered than if it had been a complete gift.

We've spent the past several weeks visiting with ceramic artesans in San Juan de Oriente to see if they are interested in being a part of this project and therefore receiving a new oven. The structure of the oven is slightly different than normal and two families received new ovens that serve as examples -- completely for free. The families didn't pay one cent for the ovens. As we visited with artesans in the town we ran into a lot of hesitancy about being a part of the project. One of the responses that we heard over and over again was this: "I heard about so-and-so who got an oven for free, so why do I need to pay $162 for mine?" Many people backed out of the project with the idea that maybe someone else will give them one for free ..... or they will keep on with the way things are: either renting one (which they most likely pay for) or using one that is old and falling apart.

It's frustrating to watch artesans make this decision when they could decide to make an investment now that will benefit them in the long-run.

It's also frustrating from the perspective of ALTERNATIVA. Here is a very well-run organization that is doing really good develpment work. They are very careful with their money and are stretching every penny as far as it can go. Therefore, we'll be able to help 8 families in these next few months and hopefully continue assisting families in this way down the road. Instead of gifting ovens to only 4 families and using up all the funds on those 4 families, we'll be able to spread the funds out.

It's disheartening to me how the actions of one "free gift" have repercussions for years and miles away. One "free gift" isn't just affecting one family -- it's affecting the whole community for the next generation. And it makes the work of organizations such as ALTERNATIVA much more difficult (organizations like ALTERNATIVA that are here for the long-run and have a more holistic approach to addressing poverty than a one-time gift). Nevertheless, I'm glad that ALTERNATIVA works the way it does.

Another reason that I'm glad that ALTERNATIVA doesn't just give things away is that people are so much more invested if they've contributed even a small portion of the cost of what they're receiving. If something is a complete gift, the recipient is less likely to point out if something isn't quite right with them gift. Contrarily, if people are "paying" for what they are receiving, they feel that they have the right to complain if something isn't exactly the way they want it. "You can't look a gift horse in the mouth" kind of thing. For example, if some group goes and builds a house for a family completely for free, the family may not feel comfortable pointing out that the house is being build in a way that isn't functional for them.

Another example that my boss told me about: Apparently in one of the surrounding cities of Masaya, some organization came in a gifted gas ovens to a number of families. They were really nice gas ovens and were given with good intentions I'm sure. However, the families didn't have the money to buy the gasoline for the ovens. Not knowing what else to do with these strange new ovens that were now just taking up space in their homes, the families ended up throwing the new gas ovens out. My boss was convinced that if they had paid even a hand full of dollars for the ovens, they would not have thrown them out.

All of this leads me to believe more strongly that nothing should be completely given away for "free" when there is the possibility of including the beneficiary in the process of development. As easy as it would be to just feel sorry for these people and raise money to donate things to them, I'm glad that I'm working for an organization that demands more of their clients and empowers them to take ownership of their own betterment.

Volcan Masaya

2011-10-16T18:50:00.000-07:00

Finally, after having been here for 6 weeks and making many (unsucessful) plans to see the volcano, I was able to see the volcano of Masaya. Originally it was going to be a house event, but out of the 6 of us only one roommate and I ended up going.

The park ranger at the entrace of the park informed us that due to the specific conditions of the weather and the time of year, the volcano was emitting a lot of gasses. Apparently there was a very strong sulfur smell that irritates your respiratory track and and stings your eyes. He strongly suggested that if we decide to go we should pay to have a bus take us to the crater instead of walking the 6 kilometer distance to the top. We weighed our options, and thought about the fact that we'd been meaning to go see the volcano for the past several weeks and decided to carry on with our original plan. And since our original plan included walking (and we were somewhat desperate for some physical exercise) we decided to walk.

It was a beautiful walk. And although it was all uphill, it was only the last 20 minutes that were brutal. Not only was it brutal because of the steep incline, but at that point that the grade increased the gasses that the park ranger had warned us about began to waft over us.

At first the smell was just annoying. Then it began to make us cough. By the time we got to the crater we were desperately trying to cover our faces with any kind of fabric we could (stretching our shirts up to our faces or putting our purses over our mouths) and gasping for a breath of fresh air.

We were blown away by the beauty of the crater, but more than anything overwhelmed by the smell. It was sprinkling lightly and everything the ranger said was true -- including the burning eyes. We decided to climb to an overlook which seemed to be out of the wind's way a little bit. We were able to breath a little easier there and had a great view not only of the crater but also Managua and the Lake of Managua.

Thinking that we were escaping the fumes (and wanting to relax after our hour-plus hike)we hung out up there for about 40 minutes. Some friends that we had met on our journey joined us after a while and let us know that apparently there was a sign that instructed visitors to limit their visit at the top to 15 - 20 minutes in order to avoid health hazards. Upon discovering this bit of advice that we had overlooked, we booked it to the edge of the crater once again to take one last look, hoping that our bodies would forgive us. After our last glimpse we began hurrying down the slope (actually running for a while).

Scrambling down the road we were still coughing. My eyes were burning and I had the taste of sulfur in my mouth. At that point it was actualy raining and it was nearing the time that the park was supposed to close. So when a truck carrying weary visitors back to the park entrance passed us and offered us a ride, we gladly accepted.

Glad to be back on ground level we were able to breath freely again. What a relief. After showering and putting our clothes in another room, we felt almost back to normal. Although our roommates that had not joined us said that they could smell it on us. Here's hoping that the volcano doesn't errupt while I'm here. And here's hoping that my lungs fully recover. What an adventure.

Oven pictures

2011-10-11T15:26:00.000-07:00

Two posts in one day! It's been raining here for about 20 hours. Apparently that means that going to work is optional. This is for good reason. Walking to work this morning was not a lot of fun. Many of my co-workers hadn't even ventured out and the office was pretty quiet. After lunch I decided that I was more than okay with not going out again if that meant staying dry. Hence I have a lot of time on my hands.

I thought I'd post a few pictures of ovens that are examples of the ones that will be built here in San Juan de Oriente (the neighboring small town that has a lot of ceramic-makers in it.)

The oven itself is constructed with bricks (and other materials). I'm getting an education about ovens here. Learning more than just microfinance! This is a new oven design that I believe was developed in Honduras.

The green structure next to it called a "soplete" and that is the component that burns biomass such as shells of rice and shells of coffee beans. This soplete is like a blow-torch that heats the oven up really hot and speeds up the cooking process as well as reducing the amount of firewood that is needed.

The soplete kind of reminds me of a Lowry Manufacturing bin. :-)

We're still in the process of finding artesans that will be beneficiaries of the ovens. Hopefully this week I'll be able to accompany the loan officer to visit all of the potential new-oven owners, do some investigating and find 8 individuals/families that will be able to benefit from this project.

Ain't no reason

2011-10-11T14:55:00.000-07:00

Last night I was asked to speak to a group of students from LASP. It was exactly 3 years ago that I was in Nicaragua for the first time with the same group. Getting to go back in a different capacity was very fun and gave me the opporutunity to re-visit thoughts and feelings that I was having when I was in the position of these students. It was crazy to look back at where I was 3 years ago and think about all that I've experienced since then and all the ways in which I've grown and been stretched. It's nice to have a space like that that encourages you to reflect and remember and continue to process.

[I'm not sure if I've mentioned this yet, but I am very much of a delayed processor and so this current trip to Nicargua has been very helpful for processing my previous trip to Central America. I may just need to keep returning every 3 years or so in order to keep processing and learning. :-)]

In addition to talking about what I'm up to now, I talked to the group about my first experience in Nicaragua and how it impacted and changed me. I may eventually share what I shared with the LASP group, but for now I just wanted to re-post a song that I love that touches on some issues that I addressed. I posted this to my blog a few months ago but it's worth re-posting. I think about this song (or at least the ideas of the song) every day as I struggle with the unequal distribution of wealth the unfairness that I'm confronted with on a regular basis.

Ain't no reason by Brett Dennen

SOO big

2011-10-05T11:51:00.000-07:00

I tend to stand out here, a lot. It is not only due to the fact that I'm significantly taller than most Nicaraguans but also that I'm white. “Chela” is the word that they apparently use for us fair skinned people, but I hear “gringa” more often. It's taken a while to get use to being the spectacle walking down the street. Actually, I don't think I'm used to it yet, and probably won't ever be.

My favorite is the children who haven't learned yet that it's impolite to stare or say whatever they're thinking. When I was visiting some friends in Managua, my friend Indira's niece (about 5 years old) was there and when she saw me she exclaimed: “But she's so big! Now I'm the smallest one here!”

When I'm out in the field doing house visits with Jimmy there are always kids that poke their heads in a gawk at this tall gringa sitting next to this average sized (and by that I mean shorter than me) Nicaraguan. A few weeks ago one little girl got up the nerve to come and touch my earrings. I was trying to blend in but at that point everyone in the circle (there were about 5 of us at that house) swung their heads around to watch this little girl examine my earrings. Try acting inconspicuous in that situation!

The worst is going to the celebrations in town. I'm guessing that Masaya has maybe 4 white people total (not including the ones that live in my house). Usually those 4 other white people don't go to these festivities so my friends and I are THE gringos at the parades and celebrations. I think I'm getting a glimpse of what it might be like to be a celebrity. At one San Jeronimo parade a little girl reached out and touched my hand as I walked past. She was smiling hugely as if to say “Look! I touched a white person!”

My least favorite is the guys and their “piropos” ('flirtations, flattering comments' according to Word Reference) Essentially harmless, these “compliments” are mostly just uncomfortable. For some reason, they strike me as really funny (For the record, laughing in the face of a guy that tells you he loves you is not the response he's expecting). I think it's the absurdity of the situation and the blatancy of their comments that make me laugh– it's surprising to me how these are socially acceptable in any culture. Some of my friends think of piropos as a good ego boost...which is a good way to look at it. I think of them as a good way to practice my poker face and control my laughter. [If any of you have seen the movie Miss Congeniality as many times as I have, there is a scene in there that is very similar to what I experience.] Maybe once I've heard all the lines in Masaya I'll stop thinking they're funny. Most of them are in Spanish but some guys have learned some key phrases in English for situations just as these. My favorite is “I love you forever.” After one such comment I turned to my friends and said “Isn't that sweet? He loves us forever.” My friend responded: “Yeah, but I don't love him.” ;-)

The other way that I stand out (probably my ultimate least favorite) is the fact that as a white person I represent money and wealth and shopping. Going to the Mercado is quite the experience. It's as if all the store clerks kick into super-salesman mode and are all of the sudden doing everything they can to lure me into their shop to buy their products. Walking down an aisle of clothing shops there can be up to 3 or 4 clerks at any given time all talking to you at once saying things like “Amor, what are you looking for? Feel free to ask questions. What brings you here today? Come and look and see what we have.” (“Amor” literally meaning “love” or “sweetheart” is in this case not anything romantic. It's just a word that anyone can use to address someone like me – a misplaced white girl in the middle of a shopping center or bus station or whatever.) Anyways, that kind of environment is about enough to make me have a panic attack and wish that I blended in a little better than I do.

On a recent shopping expedition, my friend and I hit up most of the clothing shops in the Mercado. I think word may have spread that two gringas were on a mission to buy some clothes. At one shop there were literally 6 people standing around me watching as I debated between two slightly different tank tops (both too small....surprise!). Oh to have brown skin. Oh to not have blue eyes. Oh to be short.

[* The pictures was taken at a fun smoothie shop in the central park. My friends and I frequent it regularly to increase our intake of vitamin C and dairy. They also have fun tall chairs and tables. :-)]

Should I eat this?

2011-10-02T17:48:00.000-07:00

[This title is dedicated to my friend Georgeena who used to sit in my dorm room and mid-conversation find a dish of food and say "Should I eat this?"]

Honestly, food was one of my biggest concerns before coming. It's such a significant part of life and if you don't like it (or it doesn't like you), it affects every other part of your day.

Good thing that I had lots of practice becoming a "professional eater" the last time I was here in Central America. The staff at LASP didn't give us too many specific instructions; but they definitely enforced the idea that we need to eat that which is placed in front of us. It's so much more than eating. For a host family who is opening up their home and cultures to this foreign student, feeding them traditional food is more of a way to express welcome and love. In turn, to not eat is rejecting their hospitality in a sense.

----

I get a lunch break at work so I walk home every day and eat with one of my dutch roommates. We debrief about our day and talk about our food. One day we had "Mondongo" - a Nicaraguan specialty. It was meat and a "caldo" or broth. The meat looked normal on one side and on the other we decided that it looked like coral reef. It was presented with much pride and a little bit of a description, but we didn't know exactly what it was. Against my wishes, my roommate pulled up her internet and looked it up......while we were still eating. We discovered that it is the stomach of an animal. We think that ours was a pig....it might have been a cow. We both tried really hard to be gracious guests. But the combination of the texture of the "coral reef" section and our newfound knowledge about what we were eating was a little too much for us. I think they took it okay. We said that it was good but just a little different for us. The smile that our maid/housekeeper gave us made me think that our reaction was probably not much different than other foreigners living in the house.

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One thing that I have been enjoying thoroughly is the plantains. Possibly my favorite Central American food, it can be prepared in many different ways. My favorite is when the ripe plantains are sliced and fried in oil. Yum. :-)

----

And then there's the literal "Should I eat this?" as in "What kind of fruit is this? Are you supposed to eat the peal?" or "Has this been prepared using purified water?" or "Is this food?"
Recently I was served something that looked like fried bread. It was very hard and crusty and I was somewhat afraid that I was going to chip a tooth eating it. But if it was served on my plate, that means it's meant to be eaten, right?
I later found out that this delicacy is called "chicarron" and is a pig's skin. As I sat around the table with friends eating it for the second time I asked "Why do we eat this?" --- "Don't think about it" was the best response I got. Every once in a while the chicarron might have some pieces of hair in it. (Sorry if you've recently eaten while reading this...)

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Then there's the "Is this legal?" This one's pretty rare, but recently I was at a restaurant where they served turtle eggs as an appetizer. I asked what kind of turtles they were and was told they were sea turtles. :-S I don't know if that's legal, so I may have mis-understood them. I hope so.

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At the same "turtle egg" restaurant I ate lobster soup. It was possibly the most gynormous bowl of soup I've ever seen -- at least 10 inches in diameter. And the ENTIRE lobster was draped over the bowl, in various pieces. I did my best to eat it, but I'm pretty sure you need specific instruction and lots of practice to eat one of those well.

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Last week one of my co-workers "me invito"(offered to treat me and some other co-workers) to "cafe" (which is not necessarily coffee but rather a refreshment). I walked with my boss to a house about a block away from the office with no sign that they were selling anything. Alina yelled in what we wanted to order and several minutes later we left with 4 drinks in a plastic bag. Each drink was contained by it's own plastic bag that was tied tight around the straw that was stuck in it. It was in fact very refreshing. It might take some time to get used to drinking out of a bag however.

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Another typical beverage that takes some getting used to is this "Avena" drink. It consists of water, sugar, and raw oatmeal. It is served in a cup/glass which would imply that you're supposed to drink it like any other beverage. Obviously the oatmeal settles though so you either have to chew through the last bit of it, or use a fork or spoon. It's actually really good, I'm just not used to drinking things with that kind of texture.

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Last but not least we have the traditional Nicaraguan Nacatamales. These are somewhat similar to Mexican tamales but have more things in them. They generally contain meat, onions, vegetables, little spicy peppers, and corn (among other things, I'm sure).They are commonly eaten as breakfast food on the weekends. This morning my host-family served us Nacatamales. Now that I've eaten that I feel like my experience here is truly authentic.

¿Ya?

2011-09-28T17:33:00.000-07:00

If I had to pick a favorite word in Spanish, it'd probably be "ya" -- it would at least make the Top Ten list. The word "ya" is amazingly versatile and can mean lots of things. Most of the time it means "already" or "now." It can also be used as a command -- to ask someone to stop (it'd be like "enough already!"). At the daycare that I used to work at, we used it all the time to see if the kids were done eating. Ya? = "All done?" Another way we used it at the daycare was in order to soothe crying kids. Ya = "There, there. It's okay. Stop crying." Depending on the context, it can also mean things like "Ok, I'm ready, let's go." or "Are we ready?" Many uses for the word.

It's meaning can also be left up for the interpretation of the listener. For example: "Vamonos ya" can mean lots of things. Either, literally "Let's go, RIGHT now." Or "Let's go (in 10 minutes)."

I've been trying to figure out what "ya" means in Nicaragua.

The other day my boss called over to me from the next office that there was a credit meeting that morning that I should go to. I asked him when it started and he replied "Ya." There was a brief pause and then he added "'Ya' means within 5 minutes." (Then I have to figure out if "5 minutes" really means 5 minutes or if it means more.)

I continue to shadow Jimmy the loan officer several times a week. Today after the credit meeting he looked at me and said "Ya nos vamos" (We're leaving now). I was surprised because he usually has some paperwork to do after the meeting before we leave so I asked to clarify and he assured me that "ya" we'd be leaving. I went back to my office and gathered my things. When I went to his cubicle to wait for him he was busy. After a while he looked at me and said "We'll be leaving in about 20 minutes."

Yesterday my boss Alina and I visited a neighboring city and arranged for a meeting with potential beneficiaries of our oven project. The meeting was scheduled for 3:00. Today at around 2:45 Alina asked me "What time did we say the meeting was today?" I told her 3:00 and we spent the next few minutes somewhat frantically trying to print something that we needed for the meeting. Our boss Don Leonardo also came and by the time he was ready to go, it was 3:20. The meeting was in a town about 7 minutes away so we ended up starting closer to 3:30. Everyone was there waiting for us, but no one seemed to mind that we were late. They probably knew that "ya" we'd be coming.

La gente

2011-09-25T17:34:00.000-07:00

Here are some candids of people ("gente") from the independance celebrations a few weeks ago. Unfortunately I can't claim that I took these pictures. Not only was my camera stolen but my friend is a much better picture-taker than me, so I have to give credit to Kimberly for these shots.

"That's a good question."

2011-09-20T19:02:00.000-07:00

During the orientation of LASP (when I was here as a student) the staff made a very good impression on us that they were not going to gift-wrap our experience here - nor was anybody else. We had to figure things out on our own.

All of us 40-some students were together and the staff informed us that it was now time for us to ask any questions that we might have. After every question they would respond "That's a good question. Next?"

After a while, I figured out what was going on. As frusterating as it was, it was a very accurate indication about how the rest of the semester would go.

I had to learn to be okay not knowing any details. I learned to go with the flow and pretend like I knew what was happening even when I didn't. And I had lots of practice finding things out on my own.

It turns out these skills are very necessary for my time in Nicaragua as well. It kind of feels like everyone in Masaya got together and agreed to not tell me any more details than I absolutely need to know. I need to figure it out.

Some examples of "good questions":

"How do I get home?"
One of the housekeepers showed me the way to work my first day, then asked "Do you think you can find your way back home?" I'm not sure what she would have done if I'd said no. Hiding my nervousness about getting lost, I assured her that I'd be fine and figured it out on my own.

"Where are we going?"
The first day I shadowed the loan officer Jimmy, we didn't talk a whole lot. After a few hours, the lack of knowledge about what was going on was killing me so I started asking "Where are we going?" Little details that make me feel like I have some control (control in the sense that I know the name of the city we're in). He must have picked up on my desire to know more details because the next time we went out to do house visits, he filled me in a little more on the specifics. I've also gotten better about asking LOTS of questions.

"Where'd everyone go?"
Every once in a while everyone that is usually around the house leaves without saying anything about when they'll be back. Oftentimes another family member will return in the meantime and expect to be let in. One time, the daughter and her family came back before the Rosa Maria (the lady we rent from) did. None of us had keys at the time so we couldn't do anything to let them in. Nore did we know when anyone else would be home. Communication.

"Where's the accounting room?"
The other day at work the director of Alternativa poked his head in my office and asked "Are you going to the credit meeting today?" In my head I was thinking: 'I had no idea there was a credit meeting today.....or what a "credit meeting" is exactly.' But outloud I said "okay." He left and I had to ask my supervisor/boss where the meeting was. "Oh it's in such-and-such a room. You'll need to bring a chair. You can get there through the accounting room." Okay, where are the chairs that I bring? Where is the accounting room? What time does the meeting start?

"What's that noise?"
The other day when I was at work, all of the sudden firecrackers started going off like crazy. It sounded like it was 10:00 on the 4th of July. After about 5 minutes of solid firecrackers I went to see if my fellow intern knew what was going on. He just rolled his eyes and shrugged. (I think "That's a good question" is what he meant.)

"What's a 'reglamento'?"
A few days ago my boss was going over my work plan for the rest of my internship. It included a very detailed description of every step of the project with the ovens. Things like visiting potential beneficiaries, making a payment plan, etc. He asked if I had remembered to add that I need to make a "reglamento." I said that I hadn't and he told me that I should definitely add that. Okay. What the heck should be in a "reglamento"?

"Who lives in this house?"
As I sit here writing this, I asked Rosa Maria if her daughter and son-in-law actually live here or if they're just here all the time. Guess what? She didn't answer. She said something about how her daughter works all day long, etc.....maybe the answer was hidden in there somewhere, but I sure didn't catch it.

SO many "good questions." And I am fairly confident that things aren't going to change. The only thing that might change is my ability to deal with "good questions" and figuring things out on my own.

My turn with the torch

2011-09-18T12:44:00.000-07:00

Last week Central America celebrated it's independance. Apparently there is a tradition of school-aged children passing a torch through the Central American countries in a relay race (like the Olympics). On Monday I had the opportunity to watch a portion of the race. Each school in the area took it's turn, passing the torch to the next group of schoolkids. It was quite the procession and very fun to watch.

During the past two weeks I've been trying to find my groove at ALTERNATIVA. I'm very excited to be working there but I've been feeling super overwhelmed and wondering if I'll be able to do anything that's useful for them. I am convinced that I am going to learn a lot, but I also want to give back somehow and I'm not sure what that's going to look like.

On Friday I met with my bosses and we figured out what project I will devote my time to. I'll be working on a project that has been going on for a while - many people have put a lot of time and effort into the project - and now it's my turn to carry the torch. The object of the project is to provide ALTERNATIVA's ceramic making clients with new, more efficent and environmnetally friendly ovens for "firing" the ceramics.

The artesan work that Nicaragua is most famous for is it's ceramic work. Nicaraguans produce beautiful, hand-crafted and hand-painted vases, plates and other items. Typically they are baked in an oven that uses fire-wood which contributes majorly to deforrestation in Nicaragua. Also, the smoke that is a by-product of the firing generally goes right into the artesan's houses, causing health problems. ALTERNATIVA is making new ovens that burn bio-mass such as the shells of coffee beans that would otherwise be discarded or wasted. In this way, the new ovens are better for the environment because they don't add to the deforrestation by using a lot of firewood. Also, the new ovens have a better ventilation system so that there are fewer health hazards for the artesans.

During my first week here, I accompanied my bosses to the house of a Nicaraguan who they've hired to make the ovens. The cost of each oven is around $650. ALTERNATIVA is receiving grant money to help fund the project, so 70% of the cost will be gifted to the recipients. The artesans who receive the ovens will work to pay back the other 30% over time in the form of a micro-loan.

My boss and I worked to put together a very extensive and somewhat daunting work-plan for my next few months working on the project. When I was getting overwhelmed by all that there is to do, I asked her how I was going to get everything done. She told me that I'll have to work Saturdays and Sundays as well and not leave until the beginning of next year. ;-)

One of the things I'll be doing is visiting possible recipients of the ovens. Right now we only have the funds to place a handfull of ovens in the homes of artesans. I get to help choose who those lucky recipients will be. I will also help with getting the artesans set up with a payment plan for their loan. In addition to these jobs there are a lot of other tasks that will keep me very busy for a while.

There is another intern at ALTERNATIVA who is currently writing a grant for more funds for the project. Many other interns have devoted a majority of their internships to this project. I'm so excited for my turn in the relay race, so to speak. I feel pretty lucky that my task is so hands-on and involves so much interaction with clients.

As I look at my somewhat overwhelming work-plan, I realize that I may not get to finish everything. It would be wonderful to be able to see the artesans using their new ovens by the time I leave, but realistically this may not happen. I need to learn to be okay with this and know that when I've done all that I can do, I'll pass the torch on to someone else who will continue the race.

Let's take the bus

2011-09-15T18:07:00.000-07:00

Once I master the bus system in a new city I consider myself truly acclamated. I am far from mastering the bus system in Nicaragua, but I recently had my first encounters with the buses - so the first step has been taken. Transportation in general is quite the experience here.

My first kind of public transit that I experienced was a Taxi. This is actually a fairly easy and inexpensive way to get around. Taxis are EVERYWHERE and all want your business. So it's usually not a problem to find one. Prices are agreed upon before the trip begins. And haggling is expected. Since I'm usually with a bunch of other white people we look like easy people to target for a higher price. Here's an example of what goes on when my friends and I are getting a Taxi.

Us: To "La Reforma"? How much?
Taxi driver: 20 Cordobas
Us: 20 Cordobas? Each person? No, this is too much. Fifteen?
Taxi driver: Fine! Let's go already.

During one particularly memorable taxi ride the taxi driver had installed sub-woofers and strobe lights (and other "would be illegal car lights in the US")and blasted Eminem music all the way home.

Buses - there are two kind of buses: The first is a normal bus that most likely looks like an old US schoolbus. They have the destination painted on the windows in front and back. There are racks on top that store things like bicycles, large baskets, etc. Once I saw someone literally throw a bike on top. Yikes. I haven't had the opporunity to ride one of these yet, but that's my next goal.

The second kind of bus - the Express Bus - is the one that I have ridden. This is only slightly more expensive than a schoolbus and is like a 12 passanger van that has been converted into a bus. There are two workers - one guy drives and the other is "crowd control." The second guy operates the door - opening and closing it as necessary. When the door is closed he leans halfway out the window shouting out the destination of the bus, trying to drum up business. If the door is open, he leans out the door and yells. (A MANAGUA!!!!! A MANAGUA!!!!! A LA UCA!!!! A LA UCA!!!! A MANAGUA!!!) At some point somewhat randomly in the trip this second staff will crawl around the bus and collect the fare....usually around 10 cordobas (about 50 cents). When you need to get off, you hope that you are sitting close enough to the door to make it out in time for the brief "pause" at the bus stop. The second staff takes your arm and "helps you climb out." I'm not sure if this is a polite gesture for ladies or if it's to give you an extra shove to make sure you get off before the bus starts rolling again.

Both types of bus can get cram-packed. Packed in a new sense of the word. One time two friends and I were trying to get on a bus and the one that stopped was so full that people almost fell out when they opened the door. The door man was convinced that all three of us would also fit and barked orders at everyone else to squish in some more. One of my friends tried but decided that "No es posible." Sad to have lost our business, the doorman shrugged and they left. Luckily the next bus came about 30 seconds later and had plenty of empty seats. What an adventure.

Vamos a la playa

2011-09-14T20:16:00.000-07:00

You may think that all I do here is play....which is partially true.

This week is a holiday. Today and tomorrow are both holidays that everyone gets off work. In order to celebrate, everyone that I work with went to the ocean on Tuesday afternoon. We went to a restaurant right on the beach and were able to stay there until the sunset. It was pretty gorgeous.

Shadowing a loan officer

2011-09-12T18:21:00.000-07:00

Today I got to shadow one of the "promotores de credito" -- what would be the equivalent to a loan officer. We spent the morning and afternoon traveling around Masaya and the neighboring towns. We visited clients of ALTERNATIVA who curretnly have loans. Some of the clients have gotten behind on loan payments and so the visit was to check up and see what's happening. Other visits were simply to get a signature or check up on things, to get a payment, and to see how everything is going.

One big barrier that Nicaraguans face is a lack of access to credit. One of the things that ALTERNATIVA does is help break that barrier, especially for the poor whose only other hope for credit would be through loan sharks who charge exhorbitant interest rates (up to 20-30% interest rate).

The first house/shop that we stopped at sold fruit and Nacatamales on the weekends (Nacatamales are a traditional Nicaraguan food). They are a long term client of ALTERNATIVA and the loan that currently have is for several hundred dollars. Loans through ALTERNATIVA generally span $100 to $2,000 and have a low interest rate.

ALTERNATIVA keeps in very close contact with its clients. They also are very thorough in deciding whether or not to lend money to clients. Because of this careful selection process and the close communication they have with their clients, ALTERNATIVA'A loan repayment rate is 95%.

Getting to go out into the field and see what goes on there has been my favorite thing at ALTERNATIVA. I contributed absolutely nothing -- I was literally just shadowing. But it was a huge learning experience. And it's an awesome opportunity to connect the dots between the overwhelming poverty that I see everywhere and one organization's efforts to address the problem.

This was a great way to celebrate my one week mark in Nicaragua. :-)

Sounds

2011-09-11T11:46:00.000-07:00

One of the many things that I'm learning to get used to is the plethora of new sounds here. Here are just a few things that I hear on a regular basis:

- Honking horns. ALL the time. Especially at the end of the day, I guess it'd probably be similar to rush hour. There are sometimes so many horns honking at the same time that it makes a disonant chord of car horns. Car horns can be used for a variety of reasons. For one, traffic rules are few to none-existant here (or at least not enforced at all) so horns can be used to indicate that a big vehicle is coming to an intersection and is not going to stop. So if you are in a smaller car or walking, YOU need to stop. Regular sized cars honk when they're trying to get by a place that is too narrow or where there are oblivious people walking in the street. Taxi's honk their horns to let you know that they are there and ask if you need a ride. One my way to work I usually have about a dozen taxi drivers honk to see if I want a ride. I'm trying to think of the best way to indicate that I don't need a taxi....maybe writing it on the back of my shirt or something.

- Roosters. I don't think that the roosters here know that they should only crow at sunrise in order to wake people up. Instead these roosters crow at any hour of the day or night. The first night I was here I woke up to roosters at 1:00 in the morning.

- Dogs barking. Along with the roosters, this is an all day/all night kind of thing. It's very common to have dogs here and since the building structures are less substantial and the houses are all so close together, it's hard to not hear all your neighbor's dogs.

- Fireworks/firecrackers. At first I thought these were gunshots but it turns out there's no need to be alarmed by these frequent explosions. People shoot them off at all hours of the day - either just for fun or to test them out (there are factories that make them here).

- Birds. My host house has a pet bird that is usually pretty quiet. However, today he has been squacking insesantly...I think he needs some food or attention. There are other wild birds that you hear as well.

- Music from neighbors. This weekend there must have been some kind of party nearby, because there was loud Nicaraguan music late into the night. Right now I can hear loud music coming from at least 2 other places nearby. Also at my workplace in the afternoon our neighbors usually blast loud radio music....every once in a while it's music that you'd hear in the U.S.

- If there is a tin roof above your head, every little twig or leaf that falls on the roof sounds more substantial than it actually is. A heavy rainfall under a tin roof is also quite deafening.

- Crying/screaming. The grandson of the lady we rent from is almost 4 and very dramatic. I haven't figured out yet if he and his parents live here or if they're just here all the time. Whenever something happens that he doesn't like or when he needs some attention he screams and cries. I'm able to tune it out better than my housemates who were fed up with it after day 2. It's a good thing he's cute.

- Dutch. My housemates from Holland all speak English but after a day of speaking Spanish, Dutch is their default mode. So I listen, and they translate and try to teach me words.

I'm sure I'll get used to these new sounds and they will become normal. I might even miss them when I'm not here......maybe.

Fotos

2011-09-10T16:37:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd put some pictures up:

Here's a picture from the plane, coming into Managua:

The view outside of my room. There is a little courtyard between the house and the rooms that we rent. There are 4 separate rooms that make a U shape around the courtyard and house. There is an open-air living room and dining room that is right next to the courtyard as well.

I went with some friends to Laguna de Apoyo this afternoon. It was beautiful! A very clean lake for swimming, kayaks, hammocks, and lots of relaxing.

Leaving

2011-09-07T17:47:00.000-07:00

[Some reflections about leaving a little late. Not only am I "delayed processor" but I also don't always have time when I want to write, so some things might not be completely up-to-date or current.]

During my one hour layover in Atlanta I started reading my one book that I brought along. I was starting to freak out and I thought reading a little Donald Miller would help. He's one of my favorite authors and I somewhat randomly picked up his book "Through Painted Deserts" not really knowing what it was about. The "Author's Note" and the first chapter were both about leaving. How appropriate. (I'm not sure if that "coincidence" helped calm me down or made me freak out some more.)

Donald Miller begins talking about the seasons and change. Then he talks about leaving and how it is necessary and good. "Everybody has to leave, everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons."

I was talking recently with some friends that I grew up with about how our perspective on home has changed in the past few years. It's not like I ever dis-liked home, but I definitely acquired more of an affection for home once I left. I remember the banter at college (in Iowa) about which state was better - Minnesota or Iowa. Even though it was only 45 minutes to the border, us Minnesotans definitely stood up for the obviously superior state. Then when I went from small town/rural to the "big city" of Minneapolis, I found myself liking home even more. If I had never left, I wonder how my perspective would have been different.

Another thing that Donald Miller said about change:
"Only the good stories have the characters different at the end than they were at the beginning." He closes the Author's note with challenging the reader to leave and talking about how you'll change when you leave.

This reminds me of some advice from someone from LASP (my study abroad program)- The advice was to (before you leave) "Take a good look at the person in the mirror because that's the last time you'll see that person."

I know from experience that this is in fact how it works. There's a chance that I'll return completely unchanged, but it's pretty unlikely. I don't think it's possible to experience life in this different world, see things this up-close, and be this immersed in this culture and not change. I know that I would have changed if I had not left the country, we are always changing no matter where we are. However, there does seem to be a bigger potential for change when you go this far away. It's somewhat daunting to think about all this so early in the trip.....so I try not to think about it too much. ;-) But I know that change is in fact good and that I will most likely love home even more once I go back.

Money (or a lack thereof)

2011-09-06T18:45:00.001-07:00

One thing that's been hard to get used to is the extreme poverty. I know that I was here before but I must have forgotten. This is probably one of the reasons why it was somewhat difficult to "re-enter" into U.S. culture after the last time I was in Central America. It's crazy how everything is relative. Compared with Orange City (where I went to college), my previous neighborhood (Phillips in South Mpls) was pretty rough. But Masaya makes the Phillips neighborhood look like Edina (Sorry for all the Minneapolis references all of you non-Minneapolis people).

I guess Nicaragua is characterized by pretty standard "developing country" characterists. There is garbage everywhere, the streets are crowded and the drivers are crazy, there are lots of dogs, there are lots of gates and security guards, the shower water is cold, there are lots of people hanging around doing nothing - even in the middle of the day.

However, in the midst of all that, there is significant wealth. My home-stay house is super nice. There are even maids - which is hard to get used to. And my bedroom here is significantly bigger than my room in the states. I feel pretty spoiled. It's crazy to reconcile the differences.

I kind of hate to play the numbers game and give statistics like this because it's hard to think of the numbers being acutal people. But I came across these at my internship today and they might give you an idea of what it's like in Nicaragua:

- Nicaragua is the 2nd poorest country in the Western Hemisphere
- There are about 5.5 million people living in NI
- 79.9% of Nicaraguans live on less than $2 USD per day
- 45.1% of Nicaraguans live in extreme poverty, barely surviving on less than $1 USD per day
- Child labor has not been abolished
- the literacy rate is 67.5%

In spite of all these things, Masaya has a nice feel to it. It doesn't feel super scarey or un-safe, and I'm pretty sensitive to that kind of stuff.

And what's really exiting is when you see this incredible need being met with the efforts of organizations like Alternativa. I'm just getting oriented at Alternativa - I don't have a specific task yet, I'm just learning about the oranization. And I have a lot to learn but what I do know, I like. :-) I'm really excited to get to be a part of this organization.

Directions

2011-09-06T18:34:00.000-07:00

I've been getting more acclamated to life here. My biggest accomplishment of the day is that I found my way back (all by myself!) to my host house for my lunch break. Becoming familiar with the streets here is made difficult by the fact that none of the streets have names. Furthermore, there are no addresses at all, or at least not in the same way that I think of addresses. In the words of my fellow intern, addresses are "a thing of the future" here. Given all of that, landmarks are crucial. Everything is in relation to each other. 2 blocks east of the bank, 1 block south of the central park, 4 blocks north of the police, etc. This will work eventually, but since I don't know where anything is, it's a little difficult.

Luckily there are a number of other ex-pats here that have been here for longer than me and are glad to show me around. I'm very grateful for them and am looking forward to the day when I'll be able to be the "tour guide" for someone else.

I especially realize in a setting like this how much I like to feel like I know where I am. I like to know which direction is North and how to make my way around town to all the places I need to go. Hopefully I'll get my bearings soon. One of my housemates draws me maps (none of the streets on the maps are labeled, mind you, but they're still maps) and I spent a fair amount of time looking at Googlemaps today, trying to figure things out. It'll come. It's probably a good lesson for me to be okay with being the one who doesn't know anything. It's not easy to have to be shown around and to have to ask for help for very basic things like going to the grocery store. It'll be a good growing experience, I'm sure.

los numeros

2011-09-05T17:30:00.000-07:00

I arrived! I'm here safe and sound in Masaya, Nicaragua. Everything went really well. I thought I'd re-cap the day of travels in numbers:

1.5 – the number of hours of sleep I got last night (not including “resting” in the car or planes) I'm wondering how early is too early to go to sleep...
12 - the number of hours spent traveling (only 5 of those were actually spent in airplanes)
33 – the number of pounds that my backpack/suitcase ended up weighing. I thought I did pretty well, but the guy who had to carry my luggage was not impressed.
48 – the temperature in Pope county when we left
95 – the temperature here in Nicaragua. That's actually a guess....I'm not sure how warm it actually is....but it's pretty warm. And the humidity is pretty intense.
15 – the number of people in may plane to Nicaragua (not including first class.....we were more spread out than first class....it was like one person per 5 rows).
9 – the number of times I was bombarded with “Taxistas” asking if I needed a Taxi before I met up with my ride at the airport
12 – the number of students that were literally hanging on the outside of a school bus that we passed on the busy street between the airport and Masaya.
4 – the number of us “ex-pats” living at my host house. There may be more that I haven't met....this place is huge, and gorgeous. The three other women that live here are from Holland, which is pretty crazy given the heritage of my college. We switch back and forth between Spanish and English.....sometimes they throw Dutch in there...maybe I'll learn something new
8 – the time that I have to report to work tomorrow. I met most of my co-workers but tomorrow is when we'll actually sit down and figure out my schedule and what I'll be doing.
22.7 - the number of Nicaraguan Cordobas to every US dollar....which for some reason is very difficult for me to calculate...maybe it's the lack of sleep.

I'm eating a supper of Gallo Pinto (Costa Rica's national dish). It's crazy to be back here. I've forgotten a lot since the last time I was here. The smells are what bring me right back. There is a permanent smoke smell as a lot of houses must use fire to cook their food. There are other smells too that I can't quite put my finger on. It's a very different world down here, it'll take some getting used to again. But it is fun to be here.

I'll hopefully write more soon.

The overview

2011-08-31T19:26:00.000-07:00

On September 5th I'm embarking on a new adventure in life. I'm heading to Central America for a few months. I'll be working as at intern at an organization that does economic development work.

I'll be living in Masaya, Nicaragua which is close to the capital - Managua. (Southwest part of the country)

Masaya is a "smaller" town (small compared to Managua......HUGE compared to Lowry) with a population of about 140,000.

I'll be interning with this organization:

ALTERNATIVA

I got connected to this organization through some friends that I know from my study abroad program.

The plan is to be at the internship for a few months and then travel to Costa Rica to do some visiting and sightseeing.

I was in Nicaragua and Costa Rica (and Panama) three years ago on a study abroad program called LASP. I'm looking forward to reconnecting with people that I met down in Central America and experiencing life in that part of the world again.

In the words of Missy Higgins

2011-08-23T17:15:00.000-07:00

Quality song -- by one of my favorite artists. Almost everything about this song is applicable to my life right now. Well, everything except the fact that it's called "Going North" and I'm actually going south...

Going North by Missy Higgins

Anticipation

2011-08-10T18:34:00.000-07:00

The other day as I was walking to my internship, a big truck passed me on the street. I'm not sure what kind of truck it was, but something about the smell and the humidity and the particular block that I was walking down made me feel like I was walking down the streets in San Jose, Costa Rica. I shut my eyes and it was like I was there. A wave of excitement washed over me and I was super grateful and excited for the opportunity to return to Central America again very soon.

I have a tendency to be constantly looking ahead to what's coming. I don't know if this is a bad or good thing. But one thing that's bad is that when you're always looking ahead, it's hard to be living in the moment. So I try to counter this desire to look ahead, I try to not have a countdown. But it's so hard -- 2 more weeks, one more shift scooping ice-cream, 4 more days at my internship...

It is times like these when it is particularly difficult to find a balance between being "in the moment" and looking ahead to the future.

In many ways, looking ahead is in fact necessary and good -- a healthy part of the preparation process. But when people ask me things like "You're still here?" and "I thought you'd left long ago" I wonder if I've been taking this whole 'looking ahead to the future' thing too far. Why is it so hard for me to just be where I am?

I'm not sure that I want to completely eliminate this way of thinking in myself. It'd just be nice to be able to apply the same energy and enthusiasm that I expend thinking about future opportunities to my daily life.

What would it look like if I were to live every "mundane" day in the same way that I live the mountaintop, look-forward-to-with-much-anticipation days?
What if I closed my eyes and let where I actually was sink in -- and was grateful for it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
some things that I love about my daily life here:

-my commute to work, especially going down the ramp from 13th Ave to the greenway
-listening to the radio in the morning
-the feeling of lying down after an 11 hour work day
-going to the park with my kids at work
-sitting on my porch when the sun is setting
-finding bouncy balls from the boys next door in the backyard
-walking to fun places to eat and shop in my neighborhood (yay Phillips!)
-the atmosphere at the Mercado Central
-meals with friends

~~~~~~~~~~

Here's to learning to aprovechar (make the most of) every day -- wherever I may be.

Attitude Check

2011-03-12T08:59:00.000-08:00

The messages that we tell ourselves have a huge impact on us, whether we recognize it or not.

Negative messages can turn into self-fulfilling prophecies and can also perpetuate a downward spiral of negative emotions and an unhealthy outlook on life.

On the contrary, telling ourselves positive messages can encourage a healthy outlook on life.

Here's a good example:

Jessica's Daily Affirmation

What would it look like if we all started our day in this way? (Yes, standing on the bathroom counter and everything.)

Changing my mind

2011-03-05T08:52:00.000-08:00

If I had to summarize the past few years of my life into one phrase, this would have to be it: “And then I changed my mind.”

Seriously, I’ve done so many 180’s in the last several years...well, to quote a popular movie: “It’s giving my whiplash.”

Some examples include:

- thinking I would never do Americorps,
- --> applying for and interviewing with a number of Americorps positions
- --> deciding not to do Americorps

- giving money to people on the street that asked for it
- --> deciding not to give cash to strangers on the street

- planning to be done with school after Northwestern
- --> deciding to go to grad school
- --> deciding not to go to grad school

- planning on a career working with a non-profit overseas
in order to “help people”
- --> questioning the role that “outsiders” have in developing countries, as well as questioning a lot of the methods that are often used to “help people”

- deciding to move out of Minneapolis and change everything about my current life
- --> deciding to stay in Minneapolis and keep things consistent

Another thing that has changed (thankfully!) is the fact that I am a lot more okay with changing my mind now than I ever was. Initially when I began to question things like my future path, methods to “solving poverty”, etc I was very distraught by the fact that I no longer believed what I used to believe. I felt like it was necessary for me to soul search and figure out (quickly) what I now believed and re-establish my “belief system”, if you will.

While I think that soul searching and finding what you currently believe is a good thing, I think it’s unrealistic to think that you’re going to find one way of thinking that you will hold onto for the rest of your life. Additionally, it places a lot of unnecessary pressure on you when you’re frantically trying to figure things out.

A very wise mentor gave me this piece of advice during this time of stressfully trying to reconstruct what I held to be true:

“Keep learning and questioning until you come to a conclusion that you can act on. Act on it, evaluate it, and then change your mind again.”

[Thank you Laura :-) ]

To me, this way of thinking is not to promote wishy-washy-ness or an “anything goes” mentality. Rather, it is permission to be okay with changing your mind. Realizing that it’s okay to ask questions and really prod into why we think the way we do.

While it may in fact be easier to never question things or change your mind, I for one am very glad that I’ve come to this realization. Black and white is much easier, but I’m learning to embrace the gray.

My kiddos

2010-12-12T09:38:00.000-08:00

For a little over a year I’ve been working at a bi-lingual day care in South Minneapolis. The kids I work with are ages 16 months to 3 years and although there are many different cultures and languages represented in our room, we intentionally speak English and Spanish with all of the kids. I love the kids I work with and I leave basically every day with great stories from these kids. I thought I would share a few of them. (I’ve used their initials instead of full names.)
~~~~~~~~~~
Every month we have themes and topics that we focus on. Several months ago, we were teaching the kids words like hands, feet, face, eyes, nose, etc. Before lunch we were singing songs and talking about these words. I asked one kid where their nose was – they pointed to it. I asked another girl (‘L’) if she had a nose. Being a little bit feisty, she responded “No.” ‘D’, ‘L’s’ friend sitting right next to her, was shocked to hear that ‘L’ didn’t have a nose. Incredulous, she swung her head to look at her nose-less friend and then whipped her head back to me. Eager to set things straight with me she exclaimed “Yes she does! It’s right there!”
~~~~~~~~~~
Often the kids in our group call all the teachers Mommy. We usually try to correct them by asking where their Mommies are. Saying “Where is your Mommy? Is your Mommy working? Is she at school?” One day as we were walking to the park, ‘A’ a two-and-a-half year old, called me Mommy. I responded “ ‘A’, where is your mommy?” She thought for a while and then called out in a sing-song voice as if playing hide and seek: “Mommy….where are you?”
~~~~~~~~
Recently one of the moms of a two-year old told me that on the drive in that morning he had told her “We sing the ‘ding-dong song’ at Mikaila’s house.” (The ‘ding-dong song’ being Frére Jacques and ‘Mikaila’s house’ being the daycare…..we usually refer to it as ‘the school’ with the kids, but apparently some kids think I live there. :-)
~~~~~~~~
We’ve been taking the kids outside (unless it’s 10 degrees or less!) to play in the snow. This is quite the production, bundling up 8 – 10 toddlers is no easy feat. On the days that we have a big group we usually spend 90% of our time getting them dressed and undressed and 5% of the time walking down the steps and to the playground (they can hardly move with all their snow gear on) and 5% of the time actually playing in the snow. The other day after we had been outside for about 2 minutes one of the kids came up and said “Mi amor, vamos adentro ya, tengo frio” – which means “My love (or sweetheart), let’s go inside already, I’m cold”
~~~~~~~~
One of the most played with toys is a plastic puppy that is on a leash. This week a two-year old put him up on the edge of a table, held onto the leash and talked directly to the dog (as if to encourage him) saying “Jump! Jump!” [I told him that the puppy probably didn’t want to jump because he was scared :-)]
~~~~~~

I love my job. :-)

Kiva

2010-11-28T14:36:00.000-08:00

This is a video of one of the founders of Kiva (one of my favorite microfinance organizations). The speech is awesome, Jessica Jackley is very articulate and has a very powerful message. Definitely worth a listen.

Here's the link:
Poverty, Money -- and Love

Here's the link for Kiva

good song :-)

2010-10-31T17:56:00.001-07:00

Here's a great song that I was recently introduced to. Very convicting and powerful.

It's by a guy named Brett Dennen and the song is called Ain't no reason

A two-way street

2010-10-10T12:09:00.000-07:00

At my church and small group for the past several weeks we’ve been talking about the Good Samaritan story. There are a couple of recurring themes that continue to jump out at me as we discuss what it means to be a Good Samaritan. One of those themes is that of reciprocity.

One of my biggest “quejas” (a Spanish word similar to “complaints” but in my mind a little more fitting in this sense) with charity, acts of compassion and “being a Good Samaritan” in general is that often it is thought of as a one-way street. The people that are giving are the ones with power, knowledge, resources, etc. while those who are receiving are thought of as powerless, un-knowledgeable, and without resources – in other words, those who are receiving are seen as having nothing to give, offer, or teach.

It may in fact be the case that people that are in a position to receive have limited resources and material items to share – obviously that is why they are often targeted as recipients of compassionate acts from those of us that do have resources and material items to give. However, I believe that each and every person has something to share and that each and every person should be humble enough to receive what someone else has to share. One of my friends has on her facebook page a quote from Pope John-Paul II that says: “Nobody is so poor that she has nothing to give, and nobody is so rich that she has nothing to receive.”

Usually when we look at the story of the Good Samaritan, we think about how we can be like the Samaritan – how we can see and respond to need around us and act compassionately towards the have-nots. But sometimes I think we can or should identify with the person lying on the side of the road – the one who is in need of compassion. It’s often so hard to admit that we ourselves are the ones in need, and it is equally difficult to be the recipient of compassion.

Several life experiences stand out to me as times where I definitely was on the receiving end of compassion. One experience was when I lived in Central America for one semester. During those four months, I lived and shared life with four different host families. This experience of simply being (not doing anything that made me worthy of receiving their love) taught me a lot about God’s grace and undeservedly receiving love and compassion.

In particular my time on a little island off the coast of Panama stands out to me. I lived with an indigenous tribe on a gorgeous island called Mulatupu. Our home had cement walls and was therefore seen as one of the nicer homes on the island (most of the buildings were constructed from trees). My host family owned two beds – the rest of the beds were hammocks – what most of the islanders slept on. One of the beds was given up for me – this foreign, tall, English-speaking, white girl who they had just met. The rest of the family shifted around so that I would be more comfortable.

The entire week was marked with many more lavish acts of compassion towards me. Although their material possessions were few, they generously gave me prized items – things like jewelry, clothes, and molas (these incredibly hand-stitched pieces of fabric that decorate women’s clothing). Even more impacting though were the intangible ways in which they demonstrated love to me – the time they spent and the way they opened up their lives to me and invited me to share life with them. Spanish was our common language that a majority of my host-family spoke (more or less) – the native tongue was an indigenous dialect that was nothing like Spanish. One morning my host-grandma (who didn’t speak Spanish other than “hasta manana” [see you tomorrow]… the only phrase we ever exchanged) woke up at 4:00 in the morning so she could start making a special breakfast that would be ready for me when I woke up.

I was blown away by their acts of compassion and humbled to be the one receiving. In that case, they were the ones that by the world’s standard had very little to offer in the form of resources. Here I was in their midst, representing wealth and access to resources and power, and yet, I was completely out of my comfort zone. In an environment that was the farthest contrast from anything I’d ever experienced, I was in a sense powerless, unknowledgeable and without resources to share -- completely dependent on the people around me for my “daily bread.” And these people were the ones that taught me incredible amounts about compassion and grace and being able to receive what you do not deserve.

Through that experience, my eyes have been opened to the other areas in my life where I receive undeservedly. It is humbling to acknowledge all of the ways in which I receive unconditional love and support. For whatever reason, I find myself wanting to do something in order to deserve what I undeservedly receive. Why is it so hard for us to simply receive?

This whole realization has deeply impacted the way that I think about “giving” to other people. After having been the recipient I have a clearer understanding of what is going through the minds of people who receive more often than they can give. I hope that this understanding will enrich my own life as well as the lives of the people in my life who are receiving and giving.

Dignity & Compassion

2010-09-25T13:58:00.000-07:00

Throughout my life, and especially in the last few years, I have changed my mind and done a number of 180s in regard to my perspective on certain issues. One of those issues deals with dignity and compassion and what our response should be to the millions of people in need around the world and in our backyards.

Quite frequently we receive mail or hear propaganda from NGOs that tell us about all the suffering in the world that we could lessen if we only sent a few dollars. Other times these requests are more difficult to distance yourself from, when we are approached on the street and asked for cash or when we drive past homeless people holding signs asking for anything we can spare. Because I’ve been living in a neighborhood where there is a lot of economic disparity, I’ve been forced to really examine my thoughts about giving money directly to homeless or poor people.

The past year I walked to work quite often, an experience that gave me the opportunity to rub shoulders with people from different backgrounds and walks of life. Although I rarely felt unsafe, I became more and more aware of how much I stood out and contrasted with some people I was passing on the sidewalks. I found myself wanting to “dress down” the days that I walked to work in order to eliminate any blatantly obvious indicators that I am in many ways wealthier than many of my neighbors.

Occasionally during my walks to work, I was approached by pan-handlers and I often walked past a homeless shelter where already at 1:00 in the afternoon people were gathering for the evening meal. All of these experiences forced me to evaluate my thoughts and be proactive by thinking in advance of what my response would be.

I believe that we are called to be compassionate and help our brothers and sisters that are in need. On one hand, I think this compassion can come in the form of directly giving to the poor in order to meet immediate physical needs. There are countless Bible verses and quotes that teach that being compassionate means giving directly to any brother or sister that we see is in need. In one of my favorite books Radical Hospitality there is a quote that says “You can’t ignore people when God is looking out their eyes at you.”

Over the past years I have, in good conscience, given money to people who have asked for it and I’ve even on occasion bought lunch for a homeless person. However, I’ve begun to question this approach and wonder if it’s the best response.

Although I still believe that our response to such poverty should be grounded in compassion, I have begun to wonder if being compassionate could look differently than simply handing someone what they need to survive for the next few hours. What if there was a way to respond compassionately without infringing on the dignity of this human being who for whatever reason finds themselves in a difficult circumstance.

I’ve recently decided to refrain from giving money to people that ask for it for a variety of reasons. First of all, giving someone money is a quick fix, it feeds them temporarily, but doesn’t do anything to lift them out of their situations. Worst case scenario, handouts could potentially cause an individual to become dependant on the charity of others in order to survive, prompting them to stop looking for other, more sustainable ways of life. In his book With Justice for All, John Perkins speaks to this danger of treating only the symptoms themselves: “The relief of the uncomfortable symptoms may remove the incentive to cure the disease.” Secondly, giving handouts accentuates this hierarchy, this exaggerated discrepancy between the haves and the have-nots. It reduces the person asking to the status of a lesser human being, while the person giving has power and status.

Instead of give hand-outs, I’d like to spend my energies and resources asking and maybe beginning to tackle questions such as: Why are they homeless or impoverished in the first place? What if they could get a job and lift themselves out of this pit? What opportunities are out of reach for low-income people therefore making a “normal” way of life impossible (lack of access to normal banking, high cost of housing, child care, etc.)? How have we as a society failed them (systemically and individually)? Lastly and possibly most dauntingly: What can I do about it? How can I best respond to the issue without perpetuating the problem or harming the dignity of a fellow human being?

This is a big issue that I am still wresting with. Quite possibly in the next few months, I will do another 180 and go back to thinking that giving people money directly whenever approached is the correct response. However, this is where I am at right now: I’d rather try to deal with the disease instead of the symptoms.

Finding my vocare

2010-09-09T20:00:00.000-07:00

“I think I’ve found my vocare!” At Northwestern, my friends and I frequently exchanged this phrase – usually sarcastically, suggesting that our “vocare” was probably something menial or implausible like playing badminton or baking cookies. This Latin word (vocare) refers to one’s calling or purpose in life. Northwestern placed a huge emphasis on this concept….so much that during my freshman year, this word became a common catchphrase as we all began the quest to find our vocare. Now, a whole year after graduation, the way I look at vocare is quite different than my freshman days. To provide some background as to why my perspective on vocare is the way it is, here is what I have done for employment since graduation.

- In the mornings I work at a bi-lingual day-care that seeks to empower parents by providing them with affordable child care and other resources to learn and get connected. I work with a group of toddlers who come from a variety of countries and backgrounds. About 80% of our kids speak a language other than English at home and we speak Spanish and English with all of the kids.
- During the past school year, I spent some afternoons at an affordable housing site where I lead an after-school program for a group of K – 5th graders.
- On some nights and weekends, I work at a gourmet ice-cream shop. The small shop offers home-made ice-cream that uses natural, organic, and local ingredients.

All three of these jobs have been wonderful as well as challenging and stretching. I’m guessing this employment is not what Northwestern would have expected for me. Several months after graduation, I received a letter from Northwestern requesting information about where I was working, what I was doing, and how much money I was making. I recognize that they most likely want to be able to prove that a certain percentage of their graduates go to work in a field closely related to their major.

Not out of rudeness, but rather out of a desire to prove my point, I considered responding to this letter from Northwestern by saying “my official job title is ‘Assistant Toddler Teacher’ and my job duties include changing diapers, watching kids play with play-doh, and wiping snotty noses. At my job of ‘Ice-cream Scooper’ my responsibilities include scooping ice-cream (obviously), moping floors, and washing dishes.” Again, I would not have responded to NWC in this way out of disrespect or anything, I just feel very strongly about finding fulfillment in whatever occupation you are in. That is to say that I firmly believe that right now, my vocare is to be chasing after 2-year-olds and scooping ice-cream.

I love that Northwestern was so hard-core about vocare and helping people find their callings. But I think there are some unfortunate drawbacks to this way of thinking. In this whole quest to “find your calling,” I think it’s super easy to think that each person just has one vocare and they won’t be satisfied until they find exactly what it is. There also seems to be a push for finding a calling that very obviously serves to “save the world” – whether that be evangelism or working for a non-profit organization. Although those types of occupations are important, the drawback to this way of thinking is that it implies that everything that is not under the category of obviously “saving the world” must be less important.

If I’m honest with myself, I recognize that several years ago if someone would have told me what I would be doing for employment post-graduation, I probably would not have believed them. I used to assume that I too, needed to somehow discover that ever illusive vocare and dedicate my life to it -- then and only then would I be happy and fulfilled. But now I realize that there is value to be found in almost every job. I strongly believe that at both of my jobs I have opportunities to impact people and make a difference. Even though my current life’s work is not to negotiate trade agreements or fight for human rights in Latin America (some things that years ago I may have imagined as my vocare) my current life’s work is valuable and I can and should dedicate myself to it right now. Instead of pondering what my vocare might be and hoping to eventually start “living out my calling” I’m planning on being the best toddler teacher and ice-cream scooper that I can be – and recognizing that for right now, this IS my vocare.

***Disclaimer about possibly painting Northwestern and their view of vocare in a bad light: I think that lots of people at NWC would agree with me in my way of thinking that your vocare can be many different things – it doesn’t have to be just one “save the world” occupation. In fact, if I were to respond to that letter and tell them my job titles and duties, they would perhaps be pleased that I’ve found something that I consider meaningful.

Starting again

2010-08-09T19:23:00.000-07:00

After some thought, I’ve decided to start updating my blog again. Originally I started this blog to communicate about my experiences abroad during my semester in Central America. At that time (and up until recently) I placed a high value on experiences such as study abroad trips, mission trips, service projects….all of those “life-changing” experiences. It was as if I associated being in a far away country with doing something truly meaningful. As a side note, I do believe that some people (myself included) are naturally drawn towards abroad experiences and that this is a good thing…a characteristic and a passion that is placed in our lives for a reason. However, the downside to this thinking is that it seems to follow that if time abroad is “life-changing” and exciting, then life at home, in the “normal” setting is somewhat less valuable or impacting. In the past, even though I may not have admitted to myself that I thought of life back home as less meaningful, at least subliminally I held on to those beliefs. So by sharing experiences from my life "back home", this is a way for me to get out of that mentality.

For much of this past year, I have been plotting ways to return to Central America (something that is still a desire of mine); however, it has become obvious that the timing is not right and this trip won’t be happening in the near future. In the midst of this journey, I have learned a lot about what it means to find contentment and fulfillment in the here and now. Although this is sometimes a daily challenge, I am seeking to be at peace about where I am in this exact moment. It is so important to live wholeheartedly and invest 100% in life just the way it is, instead of wishing that it was something different. I need to remind myself that happiness is not linked to a place or a situation. I strive to find joy and peace in life in the moment. This quote by Henri J. M. Nouwen puts this thought into words perfectly:

- “Patience is not waiting passively until someone else does something. Patience asks us to live the moment to the fullest, to be completely present to the moment, to taste the here and now, to be where we are. When we are impatient we try to get away from where we are. We behave as if the real thing will happen tomorrow, later, or somewhere else. Let’s be patient and trust that the treasure we look for is hidden in the ground on which we stand.”
o Henri J.M. Nouwen

Another reason I’ve decided to start blogging again came after reading a friend’s blog. I was so encouraged and uplifted by what she shared in her blog. After reading her blog I realized that we have so many opportunities to impact the lives of those around us and one of those ways is by sharing our life with them. May this be a space for me to share my life with you.

The End

2008-12-15T18:39:00.000-08:00

Well, this is "the end" of this grand adventure....although I'm sure I'll be thinking about and processing this trip for a long time -- possibly the rest of my life. :-) I arrived back home to the lovely state of Minnesota on Thursday and was welcomed back by an enormous snow storm this past weekend. We got probably about a foot of snow yesterday and the temperature is down to 45 below zero. If this doesn't not help me wake up to the reality that I am no longer in Central America, I'm not sure what will. Ah yes, re-entry culture shock.... :-)

It's been good to be back. I've been busy catching up on sleep and eating lots of comfort food (food that I want to eat!) The only problem I've come across so far is that I've forgotten some words in English and can only think of them in Spanish. In order to make up for the English words that I've blocked out of my brain, I've been making up words. So I periodically have to ask my family "Is that a real word?" Most of the time it's not, but they've been pretty understanding, so it's all good. Maybe I'll write a new dictionary with my new words. :-)

Thanks for your interest in my trip and for entering into this experience with me. Also, thank you for your prayers and support throughout it all. I really appreciate it!

May God Bless You!

Que Dios Les Bendiga!

sisters

2008-12-15T15:11:00.000-08:00

Here's a picture of my 11-yr old sister Keyla and I. This was one of the many times they dressed me up during the week. It was pretty great to be completely immersed and a part of their culture. :-)

my very own chakira

2008-12-15T15:08:00.001-08:00

On one of the last days on the island, my family decided that I needed a Chakira -- which is traditional for most of the women to wear on their legs and arms all the time. It is very intricate work and after 7 hours of stringing colorful beads onto thread, I ended up with a Chakira which is about an inch and a half thick. I can only imagine how long the real ones take!

Kuna traditions

2008-12-15T15:02:00.000-08:00

Here's a picture of my grandma making Chicha out of plantain. Most of the older women wear traditional garb all the time as well as what's called "chakiras" on their arms and legs. Chakiras are made of stringing tiny beads onto thread and wrapping it around the arms and legs....they wear them all the time and re-do them every couple months, because the thread wears out. They're definitely a work of art.

Also, the women sew "molas" which are rectangular pieces of fabric that they hand stitch designs onto. They are also a piece of art and a ton of work. They sell some molas for income and make the rest into a traditional shirt - which is worn by most women on special occasions, or at church or congress, and worn by some women all the time.

I was basically a giant in comparison to them, so for them to dress me up in their clothes was usually a 5 person job.

Panama!

2008-12-15T14:10:00.000-08:00

The last big trip of my semester was spent on the island of Mulatupu in Panama. At the end of November we packed up and said one final goodbye to the city of San Jose and headed to Panama City. From there we took a 20-seater airplane to the other side of the country….it’s so remote that they don’t even have roads to get there. Once we landed on the “air-strip” (that was so small that the plane had to turn and double back 3 times in order to slow down enough) we took wooden boats slightly bigger than canoes over to our island.

Basically the whole week I felt like I was living in National Geographic. This experience was possibly the farthest from anything I’d ever experienced. We slept in huts made of bamboo with dried grass as a ceiling, ate food cooked on an open fire “stove”, got dressed up in their traditional garb, and went to a “congress” meeting which is their own local government. Also, their official language is not Spanish – it’s Kuna. But Spanish is also fairly prevalent there as well. I was very blessed to have a family that spoke Spanish probably better than I do, so we could communicate very well. I did however learn some key phrases….such as: “Igui be nuga” which means “what’s your name?” The kids on the island would basically scream this whenever they were around us, even if they already knew our names…I think they just needed an excuse to interact with us. J But it sure was helpful to remember that phrase after having it drilled into our heads constantly.

During our week there I was privileged to eat tons of very interesting and exotic foods. The menu included “chicha” (a beverage made of various things, possibilities include plantains, banana, corn, cacao, etc), “pipa” (a fruit similar to a coconut where you cut a hole in one side and drink the juice out of it), tons of fresh fish, wild boar (which I was lucky enough to see just hours after it had been shot :-s) and sea turtle (don’t spread that one around too far, cause I guess it’s technically illegal to eat sea turtle :-P).

The island was absolutely gorgeous and considering that basically our only “assignment” was to spend time with the people, literally all I did was hang out with my family and friends there. I had 3 sisters that I was with almost constantly. We spent our days playing volleyball, swimming, walking around the island, or chillaxing in their hammocks. In the evenings we would either go to church, congress, or just sit outside and talk under the stars – there was no electricity there so the stars were pretty spectacular.

In spite of all of the stark differences between the culture on the island and anything else I’ve ever experienced, I felt strangely at home there. It was as if all of the differences really didn’t matter. Even when we were both communicating in our second language or simply communicating through gesturing and smiles, it was great to see the love of Christ in the Kuna people.

why the long face?

2008-11-28T11:55:00.000-08:00

I´m back in the city of San Jose after leaving our quaint little country town of Grecia a few days ago. I honestly think that I´m experiencing ¨culture shock¨after returning to the hustle and bustle of the big city. I much prefer the quiet life in the small town of Grecia. I say ¨small town¨ as a relative term....considering that there were more people each Sunday at the church that I attended in Grecia than in the entire city of Lowry, I wouldn´t exactly consider Grecia ¨small¨ but it is a whole lot better than San Jose. =)

Our last few days in Grecia were very fun-filled. I went to yet another waterfall (where this picture of my sister and I was taken) and we got drenched, partially b-c it was raining and partially b-c of the waterfall. We also had a Graduation ceremony for all of the students in my program - complete with diplomas and everything, it was pretty fun.

Right now we´re in a transitional stage as we look ahead to the week ahead and the adventure of living in Panama for about 9 days. My group of students is going to be living with an indigenous tribe called The Kunas for about a week on a small island in Panama. We had orientation for our upcoming experience this morning but I´m not sure anything could prepare us for this trip. For starters, a majority of the people on the islands won´t even speak Spanish, so that in and of itself will be interesting. Secondly, our means of getting there include taking a small airplane and then a little row boat to the islands. Once we´re there well be living with a local family, doing whatever else they do and experiencing life alongside them for 6 days. I´m very excited as well as apprehensive for this trip, but I´ve heard amazing things about it, so it should be great.

Currently the task ahead of me is trying to put everything that I brought (and bought) back into my suitcase and hope that it shuts. It´s crazy to think that our time here is almost done. It´s been kind of sad (hence the long faces...get it?) to say goodbye to all the new family and friends that I´ve met here. But at the same time it´s good, because I know that these experiences and friendships are real and meaningful and I´m so grateful for the opportunity for this great adventure. And it´s not over yet, I´m sure that our last few weeks here in Central America will be just as adventure packed as the last 3 months have been.

Las Cataratas

2008-11-18T17:40:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I went with my host parents and little sister Marieth to these amazing waterfalls (in Spanish waterfalls is Cataratas....I think that}s a fun word=)). We hiked for about 20 minutes to get to the base of this gorgeous waterfalls. They told me at first that we{d probably see some crocodiles --- which I believed at first and then realized it was a joke...they{re quite the joking family. I was hoping that it was for real a joke as we actually walked through part of the river to get to a different waterfall. =P It was so beautiful and definitely an intense experience. We got so close to the base of the waterfall that we were drenched...it was pretty great.

My little sister is pretty great. The first day I met my new host family she exclaimed ¨Look! we have the same color eyes!¨even though her}s are obviously brown and mine are obviously blue. =) She{s pretty cute and acompanies me basically everywhere I go. She also teaches me lots of new words and laughs when I can{t remember or pronounce the ones that she{s taught me. Let me tell you, it{s pretty humbling to get a grammar lesson from an eleven year old....but it{s really fun at the same time. It{s also fun to have an excuse to go back in the day of being younger -- for example, her room, which is currently mine is completely decked out in pink princesses and crammed full of Barbies and other dolls, and we spend almost every afternoon watching TV programs of pre-teens. =) She{s pretty great.

Blending in

2008-11-13T17:15:00.000-08:00

One thing that´s really interesting about being here in Grecia is that there are a lot of other ¨machas¨here. Incase I haven´t mentioned before....Macha is a word for someone like me....light hair, white skin and light eyes. It´s similar to the word Gringa but can be used for anyone of a fair complection. (whereas Gringa is used more for a North American only) I heard the word Macha quite a bit in San Jose as it seems to be acceptable to call out someone´s skin color walking down the streets. I also grew accustomed to being the only Macha around -- even though many Ticos (or Costa Ricans) aren´t really that dark. But here in Grecia there are quite a few other Machas -- people with blue eyes and hair blonder than mine...which is crazy to me. Apparently it´s because of the european influence in this area. Whatever the case, it´s really nice to not be the one and only macha on the street.

However, apparently I don´t ever have any hopes of completely camoflouging. I was just talking to my host parents about how sometimes I can´t even tell if someone is from here in Grecia or the U.S. I asked them if they were to see me on the street if they would know I was from the states and they said that yes, it would be pretty obvious. So I guess I have no hopes of truly blending in.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, it´s really common and acceptable to address someone by their physical characteristics (for example Negra for a black woman or Gordo for an overweight guy). It´s like a term of endearment, I guess. And funnily enough, I got called ¨Negrita¨(the little black one) several times this past week. =) I held back my laughter at the time but I wanted to say ¨have you seen my skin?¨One of my friends pointed out that possibly this is some strange kind of irony. =) It was pretty funny and made me think that maybe, just maybe I´ll be able to blend in to the culture here-- and instead of being a Macha, I´ll be a Negrita. =) lol. If only...

Coffee!!!

2008-11-10T17:34:00.000-08:00

This past afternoon I had the priveledge of collecting coffee for the first time in my life! (I think that my life is now complete =)) My host family here in Grecia has a small patch of land with coffee plants. And now is the time that the coffee is ripe and ready to be harvested. It was pretty awesome to be a part of that whole process. It´s crazy -- I will never ever think of coffee in the same way, I had no idea before coming to Costa Rica how much work goes into making coffee. I picked coffee with both of my host parents for about an hour and a half and got my basket about a third full of red coffee beans. My host parents told me that that would be about 200 colones.....less than half a dollar. So I now know how difficult it would be to pay for a Northwestern college education by collecting coffee beans.....I´d be working for a long long time. Also, my host siblings think I´m crazy for even wanting to go out and pick coffee. I guess for most people it´s a hateful job. I would liken it to picking rocks in the midwest or something like that.... But for me it was really fun. Before going out we passed by some relatives of my host mom and she told them how excited I was to go pick coffee....they just looked at me like I was crazy. But I think they´re the ones that are mistaken as I thoroughly enjoyed it. =)

Life in the slow lane...

2008-11-10T17:21:00.000-08:00

Greetings from Grecia! Last week my group of 13 other students and I arrived to this cute ¨little¨town of Grecia north of San Jose about an hour. We will be living here for the next few weeks, continuing to take spanish classes and working each at a specific ¨job¨ or internship. Grecia is considered ¨campo¨-- which means countryside. Even though it´s still hugely bigger than my own little hometown of 271 people, I feel a lot more at home here than compared to the hustle and bustle of the enourmous city of San Jose. It´s a really great little town with a very nice downtown and fun parks, etc. It´s great too because from my house we have a great view of the countryside, the mountains and palm trees and coffee plants. And the best part is that at night you can see the stars. =) It´s quite refreshing to be back in a small town.

My new host family is great as well....they refer to me as their ¨adopted daughter¨ for next 22 days and have really done a lot to make me feel at home. The families of both of my host parents are huge -- they both have about 12 siblings each. And the crazy thing is that my host mom´s family all live on the same street.....literally. Her parents live at the top of this hill and all their kids like on the street down the hill. The first day I met a majority of her family and am now wishing that I was much better at remembering names (or that perhaps they would wear nametags or something). The crazy thing is that, being a small town, and being that the family of my host mom is huge, everyone knows about me....and knows my name. It´s pretty crazy to me when people know my name and I have no recollection of ever meeting them. And it´s definately a change to be walking down the street here and have people (that I´ve never met...that I can remember) greet me by name. I´ve gotten used to just pretending like I know them and greeting them back. Also, it´s definitely a small town in the sense that everyone knows everyone. So even if I´m talking with someone who doesn´t happen to know about me, I can just say who I´m staying with and they will most certainly either know my family or be related to them in some way. Like I said, just like home. =)

Good Morning Sunshine!

2008-10-31T14:10:00.000-07:00

After our trip to Nicaragua we had a few days of break (Fall Break oh eight!!!). I went with some other LASP students to the Cloud Forrest a little bit south of San Jose. We stayed at a research center nestled away in the mountains. In order to get there we had to take one of those kinds of roads where it takes you an hour to go a few miles and I had to shut my eyes for a majority of the scary curves. The location was absolutely gorgeous – right in the rain forest. We had lots of free time to go hiking and exploring around the mountains. Every once in a while we had to take a reality check and remind ourselves that we were spending our Fall break hiking through the mountains of the rain forest in Costa Rica…it’s pretty crazy to think about. J

In addition to having lots of free time to hike, etc. we also had lots of time to indulge in “normal” activities from back home. Although we’ve all kind of established a new kind of normal here, sometimes it’s nice to go back to the way things were. For example, we spent lots of time playing card games (Dutch blitz!), stayed up late and slept in, and watched TV. I kid you not we watched about 25 episodes of The Office. I kind of wish I could say that was an exaggeration but I’m afraid it’s not. :-P Needless to say, we had lots of time to veg out. J

I was also reminded of what it’s like to be a college student in the states by the meals that we ate. We ate cold cereal (one of the first times I’ve had it since being here!!!! I can’t even describe to you how amazing it tasted!) and Ramen noodles. Staple foods.

On the last day some of us decided to end our Fall break with a bang. We woke up at 4:30am, bundled up in blankets and headed outside. We had arranged for a truck ride up to the top of the 2nd highest mountain in Costa Rica, to watch the sun-rise. The ride lasted for about an hour and we were all (11 of us) packed into the little pick-up truck. That in and of itself was quite the experiece (I had a new appreciation for the drivers out there after riding for an hour in the back of a pick-up truck.) But the excitement of jostling along in a truck on the mountain roads paled in comparison to the experience at the top of the mountain. It was absolutely gorgeous. We could see clear across the country and it was a very clear, crisp day. We were literally above all the clouds which looked awesome and to add the sunrise to that...well, it doesn´t get much better than that.

Nicaragua

2008-10-29T13:22:00.000-07:00

I recently returned back to the city life in San Jose after an amazing trip to Nicaragua. It´s gonna be hard to summarize everything from the last few weeks, but here are some highlights:

n We spent 6 days living with a Nicaraguan family in the countryside of Managua. My nicaraguan family includes my host mom (in the picture) and my two brothers Roger (22) and Jorge (19). I absolutely loved the time that I spent with them. I spent a lot of time with my host mom, learning how to cook things and learning how to wash clothes by hand. In the picture, she´s teaching me how to make tortillas. I think she got her jollies out of watching my failed attempts…(I had lots of opportunities that week to learn how to laugh at myself)
n The pace of life in Nicaragua is completely different from anything I´ve ever known. It was a change from San Jose simply because I lived in the countryside. (My host family had a bunch of banana and plantain plants in their yard so we ate fresh food a lot. It was delicious.) It´s definitely a lot more laid back there than San Jose and for sure more laid back than life on campus.
n We had tons and tons of opportunities to try new and exotic foods. In Nicaragua, giving guests a lot to eat is one of the ways to welcome them. It also followed that if we were to reject any food whatsoever, that would have been misinterpreted as a rejection of them as people. I´m definitely not a picky eater, but I still ate stuff that I normally wouldn´t go out of my way to eat. We had lots of interesting traditional foods. We also drank lots of unique beverages – some made out of corn…so very gritty and filling. (sometimes I wondered if I should drink it or eat it with a spoon) If you buy a beverage from a market or something, they´ll put it in a little plastic bag (like a sándwich bag), stick a straw in it, and tie the top around the straw. That was pretty sweet.
n Sports are a pretty big deal there as well (probably just like in every other country in the world). During the week, I was living in the same community as 3 other LASP students and we spent a lot of time playing fútbol or ¨handball¨ with our host siblings and local church kids. It was pretty good quality time.
n One thing that is very important in that lifestyle is simply spending time together. I was very rarely alone. When my host mom and I weren´t doing daily chores around the house we were visiting her friends and family or watching these incredibly entertaining Telenovelas (Spanish soap operas). I also spent a lot of time just hanging out with my brothers and their friends, listening to music or playing guitar or whatever. It was a very relaxing week, filled with lots and lots of people time. J
n I was amazed and overwhelmed by the amount of love that they showed to all of us students that week. They completely welcomed us into their communities and invited us into their lives. They are such amazing people that gladly shared in life´s journey with me. The showed their love to us through lots and lots of food, lots of conversation and quality time, smiles and open arms. I feel like these people are not simply my ¨host¨ family or some people who let me stay in their house for a week, but rather an extension my real family. I´m truly grateful for the opporunity to experience life in Nicaragua.

goodbye San Jose

2008-10-12T15:25:00.000-07:00

hello!
Just wanted to write a quick note and say that I´ll be in Nicaragua for a few weeks. So I won´t be able to update the blog for a while. It´s crazy to think that our time in San Jose is basically done....once we get back from our trip to Nicaragua, we´ll all go to different parts of San Jose to live for a few more weeks. It´s sad to think about leaving this part of our journey behind, but I´m also super exicited about what lies ahead. I´ll write more in a few week. Adios!

Aquired Skills

2008-10-10T13:25:00.000-07:00

Some things they just don’t teach you. Not only do they not teach these things in college, but they didn’t cover these things in orientation when we got to Costa Rica….I guess they figured we’d catch on… Now that it’s been a few weeks I feel like I have acquired some skills (and had a chance to perfect others) that I normally wouldn’t have. For example:

Umbrella navigation ~ Walking on a super crowded sidewalk with an umbrella. This in and of itself is bad enough but when you take into consideration that every other person that is crammed onto the sidewalk also has an umbrella, it becomes quite difficult to walk. Not only do you have to dodge other umbrellas but you have to make sure you don’t jab anyone in the face with your own. Ah yes, the joys of the rainy season…

Standing room only ~ Being on a bus that is so crowded that you have to stand up and hang on (sometimes for dear life as traffic is pretty crazy) to the handrails. What’s especially fun is if you’re one of the last people on the bus, and the bus driver starts driving before you’ve settled into your comfortable “bus surfing” position. During those times, you just have to do your best not to fall over or go flying through the aisle of the bus. It’s then that I’m happy that I don’t know many people around here. Some people are so skilled that they don't have to hang on at all...something to aspire to, I guess...

No more “Minnesota nice” ~ Learning how to ignore the usually unwanted attention one receives (esp. a white female) walking around town. For some reason, it’s acceptable for guys to whistle or yell things like “¡Que guapa!”, “I love you!” or, my personal favorite: “Hello sweetie!” walking anywhere around town. It’s usually a good idea to ignore all this attention and furthermore, it’s a good idea to just plain not look people in the eyes as you’re walking. So the whole “Minnesota nice” thing of being friendly is definitely a no-go here. There have been quite a few times where a guy from our group of students will be trying to get my attention downtown or somewhere and I’ll just blow them off and ignore them, b/c I think they’re some random street men. Thankfully, my neglected friends that I’ve blatantly ignored have usually forgiven me afterwards.

Spontaneity ~ Since being here my definition of “going with the flow” has been seriously revamped. Even though my host family and I communicate fairly well there have been numerous times when I’ve had absolutely no idea what’s going on and I either don’t want to ask yet again, or they just don’t feel it necessary to let me know in advance what’s happening. I usually just try to follow along (and pretend like I know what’s going on) and take my cues from what everyone else is doing. This form of copying the behavior of others is pretty crucial in acclimating to a new culture…so I guess it’s good to have extra practice. J

~Speaking of copying behaviors, there are a lot of new foods and a lot of times I’m not really sure how to eat this new food. I usually try to wait until someone else has started eating, which works most of the time, but many times I’m the first one that is served and I’m forced to take my best stab at how to proceed eating. One time I watched my host nephew’s eyes grow huge as I picked up a slice of avocado and ate it plain…little did I know that the accepted way to eat it is to cut it up and eat it with the rest of the food. That’s one way to learn…

¡Java java java!

2008-10-04T13:50:00.000-07:00

Since coming to Costa Rica, coffee has become an even more important part in my life. Coffee is very important here – not only is it one of the biggest exports but it is also an integral part of everyday life. I drink it at least 3 times a day – breakfast, mid-morning snack, and “cafecito” or afternoon snack…I’m hoping not to become too addicted, but it’s probably too late.

I’ve had two opportunities to visit coffee farms and I will never again think of coffee in the same way. I had no idea all that went into one simple cup of coffee. Not only is it a lot of work to collect the coffee beans, but the whole process of growing and harvesting coffee beans can be quite harmful to the environment – can be, it doesn’t have to be. Last week I went to an organic farm in the mountains by San Jose. After seeing the way that an organic farm is run I am all the more an advocate for organic, fair-trade coffee. (Ask me about it sometime – it’s currently one of my biggest passions in life. J) This particular farmer grows all of his crops in a way that doesn’t hurt the environment – he doesn’t use any pesticides or chemicals. And he sells it “fair trade,” so he receives adequate compensation for all his hard work. It was pretty fascinating to see up close and personal how the things that we consume affect so much. In addition to all of that, the organic coffee tastes amazing. (I’m considering buying an extra suitcase and packing it full of coffee to bring home to the states…that would at least last me for a few months, at the rate I’m going…)
The other great thing about coffee is that it’s an excuse to have lots of good conversations and quality time. It’s something that brings people together and creates a space for fellowship. There’s nothing like a good cup of coffee with good friends. J And now I will look at every cup of coffee differently, knowing all that goes into making every cup of amazingness.

Under my umbrella…

2008-09-29T15:25:00.000-07:00

As I sit here listening to the pounding rain, I’m inspired to share with you all the joys of “winter” or the rainy season here in Costa Rica. I knew from the beginning that most of my semester would be during the rainy season – it’ll be the rainy season until towards the end of my stay when it will be summer here. (I’m already dreading stepping off that plane in Minneapolis – to go from summer in Central America to winter in the Midwest….Mom and Dad: please don’t forget to bring my winter jacket to the airport! J) When I think about the reality of winter in the Midwest, I realize that winter here is pretty mild, one might even say amazingly warm. Many of my Tico friends will often complain about it being cold. I’ve given up on trying to explain my definition of “cold” (which is: when you step outside and every piece of exposed skin hurts because of the freezing temperature.) “Gringo cold” – as some of my fellow students define it – does not exactly exist here.

However, the rain gets pretty intense sometimes. Most of the time, the weather is absolutely gorgeous. The sun is usually up when I get up (which isn’t surprising except for the fact that I get up TONS earlier here than I normally do) and it’s not uncommon for it to be a gorgeous, sunny day until about early afternoon. At that time, it’ll usually rain for a few hours and then stop, so that it’s nice again for a few hours before it gets dark at around 6:00PM. This is of course “average” – many times it will rain throughout the evening, and other times it doesn’t rain at all. Also, it can downpour in the area of town that I have classes and not rain a drop at my home.

Most of the time the rain doesn’t bother me at all; it’s a nice, relaxing addition to the afternoon. However, recently I’ve been stuck out in the rain when it hasn’t exactly been sprinkling. The other day I was making my way (via the bus) from my Grammar classes to the class at my program’s headquarters - LASP. It began raining while we were on our first bus. Eventually the rain started coming in all the bus windows and by the time we had to get off the bus it was coming down in torrential waves. Thinking that we’d be smart, my friend and I stopped to roll up our pants legs, so-as not to get them wet from walking in the water covered streets. I later realized that our efforts were quite in vain. We were soon not only dodging puddles in the streets but rather trying not to slip as we slugged through the sidewalks that were literally covered with running water – like a river.

The rain seemed to be coming from all angles so that our umbrellas were virtually useless. We probably should have just given up on our umbrellas as the strong wind made walking with them quite difficult. The wind also got the best of my friend’s umbrella and it broke shortly after we got on our next bus. I felt like we were in the middle of a hurricane as we fought our way to the next bus stop. Luckily we didn’t have to wait too long for our bus, but nevertheless we were completely drenched when we exhaustedly sat down. When we finally got to LASP we both looked and felt like we had just jumped in a lake.

Funnily enough, it had only rained lightly at LASP so most of the other students were completely dry. (I forgot to mention that we were two of the few who decided to take a bus – most of the students took a taxi). Such is life. Another friend was nice enough to lend me her sweatshirt that wasn’t completely saturated like mine (so I wouldn’t catch hypothermia sitting through our 4 hour session with my soaking wet clothing). My bus-buddy and I felt all the more cultured after surviving our true-Costa Rican-rainy-season experience – and we were happy to have experienced it to the most extreme degree. Might as well go all out, right? J

Mi Familia Tica

2008-09-23T14:51:00.000-07:00

Here’s a picture with my host parents (and their 2-yr old grandson, Jeremy). Last weekend we went to Cartago (which used to be the capitol of Costa Rica). Behind us in the picture is the Basilica, a very famous catholic church where tons of people come to visit. Every year on August 2nd, people make a pilgrimage to the church and ask for healing, etc. from the Virgen of Los Angeles. Also, lots of people come to drink, bathe, and fill up pitchers of water – which is supposedly holy/sacred water. It was pretty interesting to see all that and learn more about the catholic tradition, which is a very big deal in Costa Rica. My host family is not catholic, however -- they attend an evangelical church. So I feel that I received a well-rounded and diverse perspective when we visited the Basilica.

My Tica family (“Tico/a” btw is the word affectionately used to describe Costa Ricans) has been so great to me. They’ve basically adopted me into the family as their “North American daughter.” Both of my host parents enjoy cooking all kinds of traditional and delicious Costa Rican food for me. (They’ve promised to teach me the tricks of the trade so that when I return home I’ll be a master chef of Tican food. J) They tease me frequently that I’m going to gain so much weight here in Costa Rica that when I return to the states in December, I’ll be unrecognizable. So, just as a heads up for all of you back home… J (As a side-note, the word for “fat” – “gordo/a” is a term of endearment here – that took a little getting used to…so in a way, when they tell me I’m going to be really fat, it’s like a compliment….lol.)

My host family gets a kick out of teaching me common Costa Rican phrases and words. Likewise, they love teaching me names of new fruits and vegetables/food in general. Believe me, there are some crazy names for some foods! For example: “Yup llon,” “Jocote,” and “Mamón chino.” A few days ago, my host dad showed me about a dozen new fruits and vegetables and taught me the names of all of them (and of course, had me taste all of them) and then about a half an hour later (when we were all eating lunch) he “quizzed” me over their names. Unfortunately, my short term memory is horrible and we all laughed as I massacred the names or forgot them all together. Good times. J

Independence day!

2008-09-20T10:37:00.000-07:00

Last Monday was Independence Day for Costa Rica and I thought I’d share (a little late) how something like this is celebrated here. First of all, the night before the 15th of September, they have processions, or relays, of people carrying a torch. A torch is carried throughout the country to symbolize the year when the country received its independence and the news didn’t reach Costa Rica until many days later because the news arrived on foot. The night of the 14th our group of students was driving home to the city of San Jose from the coast and we passed a lot of kids (runners) waiting by the side of the road for their turn in the relay. It’s a pretty meaningful and symbolic tradition.

The day of the 15th I went with my host family to a parade in downtown San Jose. At first it seemed to be very similar to any other parade I’d been to (except for the Lowry Days parade…the parade in San Jose didn’t have any John Deere tractors or local beauty queens in it). We sat on the curb and watched the bands process by. Soon thereafter the beginning of the parade, people began to crowd the streets. My host family and I eventually joined the droves of people packed into the streets so that we could actually see what was going on. It became so incredibly crowded that whenever a band would come through, several people carrying ropes preceded them, pushing the crowds back so that there would be space for the marching bands to pass by. It was pretty intense. The parade lasted for close to three hours and was full of school bands and drum lines that were phenomenal. There were lots of people wearing traditional garb from Costa Rica. Our parade even had a group (of musicians and dancers) who had come from Panama to participate in the parade. It’s a pretty big deal, this Independence Day business. It was fun to be able to experience the Costa Rican pride and this part of their culture.

Limon!

2008-09-16T08:36:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we went (as a group) to the province and city of Limon. Our time there was complete with trips to see several farms (coffee, pineapple and banana) a stay at hotel right on the ocean, lots of typical Costa Rican food, an afternoon at the beach (where we happened to see a few monkeys) and an evening dancing to a live Calypso band. Okay, I feel that the last activity needs a little more explanation: Although some people in our group know how to dance quite well, most of us were complete novices. So the evening consisted of a group of young Limoncenses trying to teach us typical Costa Rican dances such as Meringue and Salsa. It was pretty sweet. And I’m sure the locals were thoroughly entertained with our attempts. J (for most of the evening there was a group of young kids watching from the window and laughing....it´s probably not every day they see a bunch of white kids dancing...)

The weekend was very informative. We learned lots of interesting facts about the three biggest exports of Costa Rica -- pineapples, coffee and bananas. For example: pineapples don’t grow on trees. This may be common knowledge for many people but for most of our group it was a surprise to see the fruits on plants on the ground instead of on big trees. J Live and learn…

We also spent some time at the home of an indigenous woman who was very passionate about preserving the culture and traditions of her tribe – which is called Bribri. On that particular piece of land, they raised iguanas on a farm. It was pretty fascinating. They had tons and tons of iguanas – ranging in size from the size of my pinky finger to a few feet long. Between the iguanas, monkeys, mountains and ocean, this weekend was packed full of things you don’t exactly see in rural Minnesota. J Lots of new experiences...

say what?!?

2008-09-06T09:52:00.000-07:00

Even though I’ve studied Spanish for about 5 years now, it has become painfully obvious in the past week how much I don’t know. It’s amazing how difficult it is to learn a language! It’s a strange feeling to have so much to say and not the slightest idea how to say it. I’m very grateful that most of the people I’ve met here have been very gracious and patient with me….especially my host family. Every day I learn a plethora of new words. Many times, I feel like I’m playing the game Catchphrase or Taboo. It’s like a game to try to guess the word. And in this occasion (unlike classes at NW, etc.) I don’t have the option of saying the word in English as a last resort.

Here is an example of a typical scenario that happens to me about 17 times a day:
(Me trying to find out the word for “fireworks” in Costa Rica)
Instead of saying “¿Cómo se dice ‘fireworks’?” I say (in Spanish) something like “When you have a big celebration and sometimes there are parades during the day….. and at night, when it is dark there are these things in the sky that explode and go ‘boom’ and are really pretty and bright…..how do you say that?” Seriously, these situations happen all the time. Like I said, I have a very patient host family. Communicating even simple concepts all of the sudden has become a tremendous effort. But I continue learning in every moment of every day. It’s so great to be completely immersed into the language and culture. I find myself accidentally writing or saying words in Spanish without even thinking about it. Hopefully this is a good sign. Also, when I think about all that I’ve learned in the past week, I’m excited to think about all that I’m going to learn in my entire semester here.

bus stop

2008-09-06T09:50:00.000-07:00

One of the major things I’ve been trying to get used to here is the public transportation. naturally, I haven’t had a lot of exposure to this whole system of buses, etc. before (when I try to explain to people that the entire county that I grew up in only has one stoplight, or that the city I go to school in has nothing even remotely close to public transportation, their jaws usually drop to the ground.) San José is a really big city and there are tons of buses and bus stops – it’s quite overwhelming for a small town/country girl like me. :-)

But I’ve had lots of opportunities to practice this past week. We just completed our first week of Spanish grammar classes at an institution called “ICADS.” Also, we’ve started having presentations/seminaries at the LASP (Latin American Studies Program) office – two different parts of the city. Like I said, this has given me many opportunities to learn the bus system….and to get lost. Luckily, all the times that I’ve been really lost, I’ve been with a friend or two, and they’ve usually been able to point me in the right direction. However, I figure that because of getting lost so many times, I will be all the more familiar with the city… (at least that’s what I tell myself when I’m wandering around, searching for the correct bus stop.)

Some cultural differences that have made things more confusing for me is the fact that no one uses maps or street names/directions in the same way I’m used to. I’ve realized more and more how I’m used to being able to visualize things such as directions and the layout of a city, etc. But now instead, I’ve been trying to cram all these names of buses and images of landmarks into my head. It doesn’t help that in any given day, I need to take up to 4 buses, which has proven to be a lot to remember. It’s always an exciting day when I can come home to my host family and say: “I didn’t get lost today!” They’re probably overjoyed to hear this because it means that they no longer have to remind me time and time again where such-and-such a bus stop is or the different names of the busses. Now hopefully I can remember all this new information in regards to navigating my way around the city. Hopefully…

Typical things

2008-08-31T10:20:00.000-07:00

It’s hard to believe that only a week ago I was packing like crazy and preparing for my departure. Although I’ve only been here a few days I’ve already been able to experience many of the traditions and cultural norms of Costa Rica. Here are some typical things of Costa Rica:

Gallo Pinto ~ a typical food for Costa Ricans – it consists of rice and black beans, usually served for breakfast with scrambled eggs and toasted bread.

Coffee ~ the coffee here is amazing! I think I’m going to return even more addicted to coffee than I was before. It’s one of the biggest exports and I can now understand why. J It’s normal to have coffee multiples times during the day. One of my favorite parts of the day is when we have “cafecito” – a mid to late afternoon snack of bread, crackers, or a sandwich and, of course, coffee.

Pura Vida ~ the official motto of the country, this saying (which means “pure life”) is used all the time – as a greeting, after saying goodbye on the phone, interjected into any part of a conversation, used to decorate t-shirts and even on the covering of soap from a hotel.

Fútbol ~ Soccer, the national sport, is huge here. I’ve had to admit (ashamedly) several times, that I am not very good at playing soccer – it is the norm here for anyone and everyone to play. I went to watch my first game last night which was awesome (and very intense!)

Costa Rica nice ~ To Costa Ricans, it is very important to be polite – to the extreme, even if it means saying something that isn’t necessarily true. For example, if you ask someone for directions and they have no idea how to get there, they will make something up and (without batting an eyelash) confidently tell you the “directions.” Because of this, it’s a good idea to ask multiple people how to get somewhere.

Here´s a taste of some typical things in Costa Rica. I´m excited to experience many more.

¡Ya llegamos!

2008-08-28T10:49:00.000-07:00

We´re here!!!
I arrived safe and sound in San Jose on Tuesday night. It was dark when we flew in and rode to our retreat center where we spent the first night. It was a huge delight to wake up and see for the first time the beautiful Costa Rican landscape in the daytime! It is truly gorgeous here...we are surrounded by mountains, all the houses and buildings are bright, fun colors, and there are all kinds of fun trees )like palm trees) everywhere. We spent most of the morning doing orientation things and preparing to meet our host families. We were all pretty nervous as they brought us all into a big room and called us up to the front to pair us up with our families...my friend pointed out that it was a little bit like an auction. The traditional greeting is a ¨half'hug¨ and a kiss in the air as you touch cheeks briefly )even if you´ve just met them!) My host parents greeted me warmly and took me to their home which they told me several times is MY home. They made it very clear that I am now a part of their family. My host dad proudly introduced me to his neighbor as ¨mi hija¨ ....my daughter. I have an ¨hermanita¨, or little sister, who is 12 years old. She is very sweet and I´m excited to have her around. Last night we watched Latin American Idol and talked about Highschool Musical ....which she loves....I think we´re going to get along great! I could not have asked for a nicer host family ...they are so kind and hospitable! We´ve been able to communicate fairly well )I think they were surprised by my spanish speaking abilities) but I´ve really begun to appreciate the non'verbal communication such as facial expessiongs and gestures.

The Costa Rican day ends a lot earlier than I´m used to....last night I went to bed earlier than I ever have! And I also got up MUCH earlier than normal. It gets dark here at 600pm so it´s gonna take a little getting used to.

I´ve been having a lot of fun getting to know my fellow students and the amazing staff at LASP. )Latin American Studies Program) Today we were broken up into small groups to complete a ¨scavanger hunt¨around downtown San Jose. We´ve been getting used to the bus system and the new currency, )we´ve bought local newspapers, fresh fruit from street vendors, and other food) as well as the street system. Traffic is CRAZY here and no one uses directions the way we do, everything is by landmarks. So we´ve been trying to be as observant as possible and soak in all of the surroundings that we can.

I´d best be off. I´ll write more when I can.

Nos vemos!

ps Sorry about the weird symbols, and letters,....the keyboards are different and the keys don´t do all the same things that I´m expecting them too....That might take a little gettting used to as well.

Let's pack up and move to Costa Rica!

2008-08-19T20:38:00.001-07:00

Hello everyone!!!

The official countdown to my departure date is now in the single digits!!! I've been busy preparing myself for this new adventure ahead of me and I'm sure that the next few days will be even more full of packing and taking care of last minute details. I haven't officially finished unpacking from this Summer (or from my junior year of college for that matter) so it seems a little strange to be packing already, but it's all good. ;-)

I've also been busy taking advantage of every opportunity to learn more about the culture of Costa Rica and to brush up on my Spanish speaking skills. I will be living with a host family (that doesn't speak any English!) in San Jose (the capital) for most of my semester. I'm pretty excited (and probably a little bit terrified) for this kind of an immersion experience and I know that I'll learn a lot from it.

I fly from Minneapolis to Miami on the 26th, where I will meet up with the rest of the students who will be studying abroad with me this Fall. Then all of us (about 40 students from all over the states) will fly down to Costa Rica together. From there I'm not exactly sure what my life will look like, but I'm sure that it will be quite exciting! I'll keep you posted... ;-)

Goodbye ~ from my English-speaking, familiar home in Minnesota :-)